Saudi Clause?


Day after Christmas you look at your take and think you did all right. You got some of the stuff you asked for and some stuff you didn't even know you wanted. You write Thank You notes to Grandma and Aunt Beth

Now, if you are George W. Bush, you look at your take and wonder if you have to thank every princeling and oil minister in The Kingdom or if you could just write one thank one note and have them pass it around. Then you have a handful of the Willing giving you stuff, just crap mostly shit you know they picked up in an airport or got from some delegation from the hinterlands in town asking for a hand out. Probably has a curse on it anyway, well except for the Italians, that watch was kewl! And those damn French even tried to send you stuff. But really, perfume? what kind of frenchy do they think you are? You don't use that crap anyway.You're just a regular guy, regular guys smell like Stetson.


Really, go The Smoking Gun. Read it and think about what you got for Christmas last year. Think about what you gave for Christmas last year.

Okay, now that you've read it. Can't you see all those foreign heads of state sitting around trying to decided what to give the Shrub and the rest of the weeds?

Foreign Head of State - Hey Baby, what we gonna get the President of the United States this year?

Foreign Head of States Wife - He'll get what he gets, you know? .I don't know, why don't you go to the closet and see what all we have in there. Make sure it isn't what they gave us last year.

FHOS -You mean the An Old English Christmas and Country Western Legends CDs

FHOSW - They do know we're not actually Christian or big Toby Keith fans? Right? Give him that box of pearls we got from your cousin last year.

Just read the lists, all of it. I read it and it made me mad., I’m just all kinds of pissed off now. See, as a state employee I can not accept gifts from people we do business with. In fact, if someone does give me something I have to get rid of it now , like right now. It gets handled like a ticking bomb and hustled out of the building and we all hope no one saw it was while it was here. But, that's okay. I don’t want the lawyers cookies anyway, I see them as a bribe. Because they are a bribe. They are to curry my favor and make me like them and be more likely to help them out in the future. But I don't. I have to hate every lawyer I do business with exactly the same hate as I hate every other lawyer I do business with. I can't hate Lawyer "A" less then Lawyer "B" because "A" gave me cookies. I have to hate everyone equally. And I do, hate them all equally.

Mr. President, his fam and all his elves get all kinds of stuff. Our Oil Rich friends were very, very, very kind. I mean, very. If you add up all the gifts they got from our ORF it comes out to $284,001. If you add all the gifts from our traditional allies, the ones Shrub has been trying so hard to get rid of, it adds up to $69,856. That's a difference of $214,151.

The Queen of England gave him a sterling silver ruler, value $450

His Royal Highness Abdullah bin Abd Al-Aziz Al Saud Crown Prince, First Deputy Prime Minister of the National Guard of Saudi Arabia gave the FLOTUS diamond and emerald jewelry valued at $95,000.

The POTUS and the FLOTUS can't actually keep all that booty, really. It goes off the Foreign Archives and gathers dust and waits around for a History Channel documentary or an open house at the Smithsonian. But, do you think when he wanders in the archives, he hates the Saudi princeling just a little less then he hates the British queen? The Queen, one would assume, does not feel the need to buy a U.S. President, while the princeling probably wants one just like his Daddy had.