Dear Answer Dogs


Answer Dogs,

Hi. What is it with you dogs and things that smell bad? Why does stink make you so happy, and why do you have to roll in it? Stop licking my dirty socks!



Signed,
Ick


Dear Ick,

Bandit is our first respondent to your question -

We lick our own butts; "stink" is not really a problem for us. It's not "stink" anyway. Its complicated world of minor differences to texture and layers of odor. We dogs have noses that have approximately 215 million more scent receptors in our nose's then you in your puny human nose. You are a human, you don't know about smells. You can hardly smell your own smells much less other humans smells and then you wear something that smells really odd to cover up your smell - It doesn't work very well, okay? Give it up. To you all sofa cushions smell the same. You more or less smell a dead then and to you it is just a dead thing! We smell its time of death, who has been there and how much longer the dead thing is going to keep out the welcome mat. How do you get through the day? You can't smell fear; you have to look at the moon to see what phase it's in. Nature means nothing to you. Why haven't you died out yet? You're pathetic. So, if someone is licking your dirty sock… chill out! Maybe you should share your day better, all the dog animal is doing is trying to find out what you have been doing with out the dog animal, where you went with out the dog animal and who else you met with out the dog animal. If you were more open with your dog animal or would take your dog animal with you when you went places, and then let your dog animal fully explore the place where you are - I would be willing to bet your socks would be less licked.

As to rolling. You don't get it; you don't want to get it. I'm not going to tell you but I can share that it has a lot to do with hunting skills and our capacity to take care of ourselves in the wild. Unlike you, who would just die.


Dogger is next up

I don't lick foot bags. Those are to chew and destroy. The best foot bag is a chewed foot bag. I want foot bag flavored cookies. Mmmmmm. Cookies. Humans can't smell things, they can't find things. Mommy was trying to find a dead thing in the yard one time and she couldn't find it. I knew where it was, it was right there how could she miss it? She made an ugly face and scared me. I thought that I made her mad! I tried to tell her where the dead thing was but she put me inside. Mommy searched all over. I could have told her where it was. Mommy is dumb sometimes. Dead thing flavored cookies! Mmmmmm! . When we go on walks Mommy walks too fast, Mommy doesn't smell things. I'm sad for Mommy. Mommy won't let me coat myself with the entrails of my dead enemies. She says I don't live in the forest and I'm not a hunter, I have no enemies and I do not need to smell like my dead enemies in order to find my own thing to make into a dead thing. Mommy gives me peanut flavored cookies. I love Mommy!


Next we have Winston

Socks taste good! Okay? They taste good! They taste like you and it allows us to be with you, to be closer to you. We lick because we love.


Love,

The Answer Dogs

"Winston" and "Bandit" (which are really their nom de "Ask The Answer Dogs"), have started their own blog! you can keep up with them all at - The Dog Blog