Dogs and Cats


Having lived alone with Kitty for a while, I really noticed how not like a dog Mr. Kitty is. Dogger wants my attention all the time. Really, all the time. She wants me to be dealing with her at all times and she doesn't care if the attention she's getting is bad attention. It doesn't matter. If I'm yelling myself horse at her, it doesn't matter! , I'm yelling at her and that seems to be all she cares about. If it is about her, it's good. Every night when I'm watching TV Dogger and I have the same conversation

Me - Okay! That's a good girl! Sit there. I will pet your head.

Pet
Pet
Pet
Pet
Pet
Pet

My arm hurts now. Go play with your toy.

Dogger - No! pet Dogger! pet Dogger! Dogger must be pet!

Me - All right! dayum.

Pet
Pet
Pet
Pet
Pet

Ow! arm cramp! Can't you go over to the other side of the chair? I have a perfectly good arm over there too. Move. Move Dogger! over here! over here! No! That's the TV Guide!

Dogger - I'll put down the paper if you give me a cookie.

Me - Drop it!

Dogger - Give me a cookie.

Me - Drop it!

Dogger - Give me a cookie.

Me - Drop it NOW!

Dogger - Give me a cookie!

Me - Stop Running Around! Wanna cookie? Give me the TV Guide and I'll give you a cookie!

Dogger drops TV Guide. I obediently give her a cookie

Me - Ya know what? I think you're tired. Are you Tired?

Dogger - Nope.

Me - You look tired.

Dogger - Not really. Give me a cookie.

Now, with Mr. Kitty, evenings are completely different. He doesn't want any attention and would be just as happy if I didn't bother him at all. He certainly does not want to be pet.

Me - Mr. Kitty? Come see me! come on baby. come see me!

Kitty - in other roomYawn.

Me - Come on Kitty! come see me!

Kitty - walks through room goes to kitchen to check out bowl It's time for you to feed me.

Me - Hi baby! Do you want to watch TV with me? Come here, come here, and come here.

Kitty - whoreing himself Hi mama! heeellllloooooooo! I lurve yew! Feed me!

Me - Listen to that kitty purr! What a sweet baby! awwwwww! Let me pet you


Pet
Pet

Kitty - Get Off me!
Me - Ow!
Kitty - runs off to kitchen and knocks over knife rack, phone books and recycle cansFeed me!

Me - Is it time to feed you?

Kitty - I don't have any idea how those knives got on the floor.

I feed Mr. Kitty.

Kitty goes back to other room.



My animals don't love me for my capacity to understand them; they love me for my capacity to feed them.