I Love My Job, vol. 2

I was hiding in my office allegedly waiting for the !@#$% brand new @#$%^ copy machine to cool down so I could make more copies - but really I was in my office because my feet hurt from standing too long and I also kind of wanted to check my email. But anyway, I was at my desk (my first mistake). I should have been hiding in the ladies room - anyway, my phone rang - (my second mistake) I should have let the machine pick it up - but, I picked it up.

Me - Hi, this is Diana, how may I help you? (I am all about phone courtesy)

Member of the public - I need to find a nursing home for my husband within X miles of X County.

Me - Do you have Internet service? (Because If you want me to send you a list, frankly, your husband may not have that long)

MOTP - No, but my son in law does.

Me - Okay! (ex-cellent) Here's the addy Nursing Home Compare (I'm about ready to hang up now)

MOTP - Okay; now here is my problem.

Me - ( ohGodOhGodOhGod) Okay! damndamndamn - when ever they want to tell me anything, its' always something I don't want to hear. I always end up regretting I answered the phone. Sometimes they end up crying about why Mama or Grandma needs to go to a home that is not theirs and they feel so bad about the whole thing and they are starting to mourn this person all ready and they feel bad and I feel like dying because all I can do is send them to the site. I am going to go to hell for not telling people the facility they are interested in because its close to them - is a snake pit. Sometimes they give me a choice

1.) Snake Pit
2) Chamber of Horrors
3) Not Fit for a Dog

And all I can say is "All Nursing Homes Are Different" if I get lucky I can find really good complaint allegations to read to them, the really shitty homes have a lot, they aren't all substantiated so that leaves the few allegations we could prove and to the people on the phone as long as they don't hear "Facility Failed to Prevent Resident to Resident Murder" or "Facility Failed to Prevent Staff to Resident Sexual Abuse" , as far as they are concerned it sounds like a good place. So, I'm totally going to hell.

She went on to tell me that the reason she needs nursing home placement for her husband who has Alzheimer's and is now in a psyche ward because one day a few weeks ago, he grabbed her by the throat, slammed her into a wall and told her he was going to "break her fucking neck". She needs placement for him because she can't have him at home anymore.

She went on to add that she quit her job a couple of years ago to care for him and now gets only a small portion of her pension and she's raising her teen age granddaughter and she only gets X amount of money each month to live on and how is she going to pay for a nursing home? And who is going to hire a fifty-something year old woman?…

It was pretty much at this point that I wanted to throw myself down whatever flight of stairs I could find. The only thing I could do for this woman was make sympathetic noises and send her to the site. Because ya know, the site is going to solve all her problems.

My feet? still hurt, my head? now pounding. I .Love.My.Job.