“Hmm. That’s kind of scary; did she give a toddler a knife?”


I totally need a vacation. I was at lunch today enjoying my book, The Provincial Lady in London suck it! Bridget Jones! The provincial lady was whining about how hard it is to be rich and British decades before you did and she did it without bashing the reader about the head and neck with the phrase “mini-break” eleven thousand times or obsessing about her weight or using the very, very annoying “v”.

Anyway. I was at lunch enjoying myself. I started to think that maybe I had been enjoying myself for a long time – way past my lunch hour. I jumped up, refilled my drink and dumped my trash. I rushed out to my car and looked at my clock. I had only been gone for half an hour. My lunch was history and I would feel really stupid slinking back into the restaurant.

So.

Over the weekend I saw some really interesting pumpkins and I started to think that I wanted to do that to. Keeping in mind I have no fine motor skills and the last time I tried to carve a pumpkin we both ended up with jagged holes and spilled guts. It wasn’t pretty. I all ready have some pumpkins but they weren’t selected for there carvability, they were selected for their over all prettiness and display quality. Besides, I like those and I don’t want to hurt them by cutting into them – I spent hours poking through the pumpkin stands for those babies and I’m not going to brutalize them. I had to get some less lovely and more cutty pumpkins, I had to find some pumpkins I had not all ready named.

So. I had a half an hour and a $10 in cash. It was pumpkins or The Democrats and there didn’t seem to be any Democrats tabling at the Farmers Market so it was onward to the pumpkin bins. My first carver had to be house shaped. Not square but being wide enough and tall enough and having enough body to it that I can carve windows and a door into it and not end up with it collapsing, the other carver needed only a cool stem is going to be a more traditional scary face design but with a really cool stem nose. I thought that I was going to experiment with stencils for the scary face – that was before I went looking online for pumpkin stencils and came up with a big goose egg. There are plenty of them, but none that really turned me on. A lot of them are of scenes and I’m not looking for scenes, and then if they weren’t some complicated design they were the old stand bys and even I don’t need a template for eyes and mouth. I started looking at some more and these all thought I had a dremmel tool and that assuming I actually have one, which I don’t that I would use my expensive toy to carve pumpkins.

If I don’t have one or don’t want to ruin it carving pumpkins, I could they suggest, buy my very own Electric Pumpkin Carving Knife! Yeah, sadly no.

But, If I did purchase the fancy electric knife guaranteed to kill me in my sleep, I could carve my pumpkin into the image of my favorite Friend. I know that I can’t live another day with out Chandler Bings head on my front porch. Ew that says I’m scarier then the pumpkin... Moving on.

The pumpkin that is going to be the scary face all ready had a built in scary nose, I looked for a pumpkin with a suitably scary stem and found one that should look really cool, I think I found a design that I like that doesn’t look too difficult but, it will be me welding the knife, so it could turn out to be a lot lamer then the template indicates. I