Christmas ShoSnowjobw

Among other things (leaf raking, dog washing, getting stung by a wasp while inside my house!, laundry doing, social conscience raising, dog cookie making, going into work on Sunday to finish little tasks) damn, no wonder I was tired this morning. I need to hire an assistant. Anyway, other then working my fingers to the bone, I went to the annual Christmas Show extravaganza they have downtown at the convention center every year. It coincides with the Annual Christmas Parade Extravaganza as well – this year with 100% less Clay Aiken! If this is as extravagant Raleigh gets, we suck.

Last year I merely made fun of the show.

a Christmas Show thing they have booked at the convention center. I thought that they were doing all this so it would be easier for the people to park so they could go to the Christmas Show and buy sequined incrusted crèche sets with bonus Red White and Blue™ glitter Uncle Sam ™ Santa, now!with! singing I’m Proud to Be An American™ (Holiday Mix) action. I don’t think people who would want to buy sequin incrusted crèche sets with bonus Red White and Blue™ glitter Uncle Sam™ Santa, now!with! singing I’m Proud To Be An American™ (Holiday Mix) action need things to be easier for them. I think they should suffer for their glitter incrusted crèche sets with bonus Red White and Blue™ glitter Uncle Sam™ Santa, now!with! singing I’m Proud to be An American™ (Holiday Mix) action.

This year I went.

There was no Christmas Show. I wasn’t expecting A Christmas Carol on Ice or anything, I mean, the ice show is next week, but I was expecting some Christmas. I even more expected some show after they charged me to enter. Once I have an actual ticket in my hand, I expect Show of some sort.

When I walked in with my newly deflated wallet, there was a store set up with Christmas decorations. I should have seen this as a bad sign. Stores with boxed Christmas decorations right when I walked into the Show should have been a sign. Marabou feathers are going to be big this year, by the way. But I pressed on, there were other little store things set up and they all had Christmas-y things in them. Christmas Crap is what they had on closer inspection. And not very interesting Christmas Crap at that. I went in the first place because I wanted to find interesting, North Carolina themed Christmas ornaments for my friends at home, so at least once a year they would have to remember I exist. Sigh. Anyway. I’m wandering through the marabou feathers looking for something interesting or original or if it got down to it, one of a kind. I thought they would have craft things there. No, they did not. This was not some half assed Christmas Bazaar down at the Church; thank you very much! this was the Annual Christmas Show! Don’t be looking for anything creative or original or Gawd Forbid one of a kind. You come here for the marabou damn it.

I was kind of hoping there would be sequined incrusted crèche sets with bonus Red White and Blue™ glitter Uncle Sam ™ Santa, now!with! singing I’m Proud to Be An American™ (Holiday Mix) action. . I mean, damn. I paid to get in and there aren’t any sequin encrusted anything’s. I’m not even sure I saw any crèche sets, red white and blue or otherwise.

What people were really there for was the Gift Ideas. Row after row of tables littered with crap. Some of this crap looked to me to be the same crap they were selling on the street in New York. I mean, very low end, bad gift level crap. The stuff you buy in bulk at the Family Dollar and unload on the people at work you don’t really care about but you have to buy something for – blocks of Plexiglas with kittens or light houses or scripture lazer-ed into them and mounted on a light bulb, level of crap gifts. People paid to park for this thing and plexiglass crap is what they get for their investment? I was shocked.

I did score about a quarter cup of free peppermint flavored Starbucks hot chocolate, but even that wasn’t worth the price of entry.