Do they make invitations to Pity Parties?

I thought I was going to end up eating by myself again today. Lately I have just not been able to get enough of myself, I can’t get over what a fabulous conversations I am and what witty, charming company I am. I “get” all my jokes, I think I have great taste and I voted for the right guy. All in all, I’m fabulous. I should bottle me.

Today, the roll of “Lunch Buddy” would have been played by The Five People You Meet in Heaven. Lets all share a round of applause for this trooper and bid a fond farewell to Holidays in Hell and thank it for all its hard work last week, it’ll be missed. There is nothing I like more then settling down to a good meal with a good book, by myself. Day after Day after Day. Three meals a day. I think the next time LB leaves her desk to go somewhere with out me I’m going to put a tack in her chair.

I could, in theory have gone home and started my laundries or mopped my kitchen floor or start to strip the tree, but those things sound like so much work and I am at work as it is I don’t want to go home and work there too, not before I have to; Also, if I wait to do start to do those things tonight or get it into my mind that I must do all those things tonight (because tomorrow the worlds coming to an end? because Martha Stewart got a day pass and is coming for tea? Because I’m afraid I’ll get fined by Good Housekeeping?) Gawd.

Hey, the stress and aggravation and almost certain failure will be fun! I just love the sense of nonaccomplishment I achieve by getting by setting the bar too high and demanding too much in too little time from myself and so ultimately setting myself up failure! Go Me.

But hey, maybe I like running around like a chicken with my head cut off for a few hours and starting seventeen projects and getting none of them finished and its knowing its all my own fault! There is nothing like over scheduling myself while at the same time being really, really lazy to really make me feel good about myself. I think I will also add to my to do list to curing cancer and ending world hunger and after I’m finished with that I think I’ll teach The Kitty to knit.

But.

I didn't end up on my own. I had to wait an hour to finally get my lunch by which time I was willing to eat my own hand but at least I didn’t have eat my hand all by by myself. If I had eaten by myself I would have had some nice pizza and gone to the bank, instead I had room temperature mystery meat and didn’t make it to the bank, but since I did drive, we weren’t late coming back. I hate that. It’s very hard for me to feel superior to people who take long lunches when I take long lunches too. I can eat by myself and be a guest at my own pity party or I can have company and be a guest at someone else’s pity party. It’s a toss up.