Bunny Time

IT'S BUNNY TIME AGAIN!!!

It's time for our Annual Bunny Drive. We're on year number TWELVE! Last
year we collected 1137 bunnies, chicks, lambs and other furry friends.

They were distributed to area hospital's pediatric and geriatric wards
residential centers and nursing homes during the Easter holiday.
Please Note: Per Hospital Policy all bunnies must be new and the tags
and labels should be left on the bunnies.


Time to fondle every bunny at every store I go into, time to spend many hours staring at their empty bunny eyes trying to see inside their fluffy bunny soul and asking “Are you the one?” “are you the rabbit?” “are you the one true bunny?” There are so many rabbits and so few that fill all my conditions.

The Perfect Bunny must

- Be with out wire, no concealed weapons
- With out ribbon, choking hazards
- With out gender
- Be in a sitting position or have the ability to sit
- Be a found in nature rabbit color
- Be large enough
- Not be too large
- Not be a marketing tool
- Not cost more then $7

These cut out a lot of choices. The ears have to be both child friendly and resistant to dementia patients. I don’t want to read that somebody somewhere in some state facility choked on a bunny borne widget. These have to be tough stuffed animals. I also check the seams to see if they could be torn apart and the insides eaten, I worry that the fir might be toxic if sucked on. I worry about everything. I do all this because its fun.

There are so many variables to the bunny hunt. You have to ask what message the bunny is sending, are there anything subliminal going on with this stuffed animal? If the bunny is wearing a flag am I spreading the Bush Admin message that war is good? Is it right to be offended by a praying rabbit? The rabbit is not a Christian symbol anyway, it’s a pagan symbol and with that, should the bunny be praying to a tree? Can I buy a stuffed tree? Should I only buy a free trade bunny? What if the bunny is wearing camo? Should I swallow my point of view and go with it because everyone else thinks it’s cute? Is a patriotic themed bunny in keeping with the season or is it not really patriotic at all and just another way to market the war to children? Is it even okay to be shopping for bunnies during lent?

I have issues. I over think. I spend a good hour circling the bunny display at the store and touch just about all of them and then don’t buy any of them or if I do find a bunny I like I might end up putting it back because after waiting in line to buy it because I start to worry about the stuffing and the weight and what would happen if one of the eyes came unglued and someone ate it? I start to revaluate the bunny, I begin to have doubts about it, and I start to wonder about what The One True Bunnies agenda is and if it’s just pretending to be the One True Bunny? What if this thing is stuffed full of asbestos? I have to put what I thought was The One True Bunny back and start again. Once the staff has watched you spend an hour picking out five or six different stuffed rabbits and then putting them all back and starting over…they call the manager and start to follow you around the bunny display with a cell phone and an article copied from Readers Digest about “How To Spot A Terrorist”, by the time you and the manager realize that you fill 3 of the top five “ways”, you’re bound to just grab any bunny just to get out of the store and that is not fun.