In Like A Lion


I’m sitting here listening to my building complain about the wind. The giant chiller outside my window has an access door that whatever last service guy who was out here – didn’t latch it closed, now it’s broken. Batten down the hatches isn’t just a cliché. I watched the local news at Burger Yucky over lunch and somewhere out in the county 23,500 chickens lost their lives because the roof of their coop collapsed under the rain. The guy on the news carried on like he was going to show us graphic footage of the disfigured, bloodied up toddler pieces but all he really showed was a carpet of white stuff that could have been tea towels. They died young but they died pretty.

News Guy – You should prepare yourself!
Me – I’m eating lunch! ( Ew. I’m eating chicken!)
News Guy – Put the chillrins away!
Me – let me finish my sandwich!
News Guy – I’m not sure we should televise this.
Me - I’m prepared!
News Guy – This is SO GRAPHIC!
Me – Bring It, news boy.
News Guy – The FCC is going to fine us!
Me – Okay, I’m through eating.
News Guy – Here we go!
Me – I don’t have to look.
News Guy – OMG the Chickannity!
Me – Are those towels?
News Guy – This is destruction beyond all understanding!
Me – Are you watching old tsunami coverage off camera or something? Or are you still going on about the dead chickens?
News guy – (holding back tears) It's. Just. Too. Much…
Me – Ah, go twist your hanky grandma!

Before I left for lunch I put my rain boots on and tucked my pants in and swathed myself in my rain coat and went out all steeled for the rain and wind and, and - Nothing. It was sunny and the sky was blue. I squished into Burger Yucky feeling like I was ten minutes behind fashion and waiting for Mr. Blackwell to swoop in and chastise me for being such a Fashion Don’t. Fortunately for me the wind was still blowing hard and by the time lunch was over I was back to being all fashion forward again. Go Me.

It‘s cold now. Monday it was 70 degrees and beautiful. I loved it. I was able to walk Dogger and still have full range of motion. My coat is great but I have about as much freedom of motion in it as the Michelin man and it makes me look fat. When its warm I can get away with just layers that also make me look fat bit less like a walking tire advert and more like a, well, street person . Also, Dogger is really ripped and next to her an Olsen would look chubby. Today its going to be back to the big winter coat though, this sucks.