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Dribs

I was listening to the car radio over lunch and the station was doing a “90s Nooner” the tag line was “Remember in the 90s when your 401k was still a 401k?” the idea being that your old 401k is now a 201k. I didn’t have a 401k back in the nineties. I was working for non profitable non-profits and the only reward we could expect for our service would come in heaven. We were told to bank our good deeds and hope for the best. Barney was profitable, ungawdly profitable but they didn’t pass the profits onto us. All we got was 20% off of Barney merchandise – “yeah! Hold on to that plush! It’s going to be a collectable some day! Just you watch!!” yeah. I’m sure that some day my “museum quality” Barney plush is going to be worth the really big bucks. I mean, I’m really hoping it will, it’s going to be that and my friend Art Boys (see work) to fund my retirement. Lets all hope he gets famous soon.

Drabs

Yesterday I noticed that I might have to find my shorts. It’s warming up and I might not be able to wear corduroys every day to walk the dog – which means that I’m going to have to start being self conscience about my paleness. I don’t think I really need to though because in my neighborhood I’m going to look pale no matter how much time I spend laying out. Sun worshiping isn’t good for you and years ago I concluded that too much laying out cut into my TV watching time. Lunch Buddy is all ready spending time in a tanning booth to get ready for the summer, I suggested to her that she might try using the actual sun to get tan with but she said that took too long “What are you? Amish?” she said. I gather that she prefers to be able to keep her receipts for her oncologist someday to show him how she ended up in his office. I don’t understand how people get the idea they need to be the same general shade as an old penny in April? its April. It’s still coolish it’s not really swim suit weather yet.

Dribs and Drabs

You know what I’ve noticed? That skank Paris Hilton is always photographed in the same pose. It’s odd, her mouth is held funny, she gets herself twisted up with her pelvis pushed out and her legs splayed oddly. It’s in every single picture of her. I saw a very old one taken in her teens, before she was a celebrity party favor and she was using it then too but back then maybe she was just a birthday party favor. She must have taken a modeling course back in her even less attractive adolescents and that is all she remembers from it, she was probably supposed to strike that pose at the end of the run way before heading back to the dressing room. The fact that she is too short to be a model and not nearly hard enough to get, is not an issue for her.

Too short and really, really, really unattractive. After seeing her in every magazine I've looked for the last several years, she started to really reminded me of someone. It took me a while to figure out who it was, is she reminding me of a character? some piece of a script I read that got lodged in my brain like a piece of over cooked vegetable? some where along the line? A bad actor playing a worse character in a bad play? ( you have no idea how many bad one acts I've watched) Maybe some straight to video trash I watched at the video store? or caught on basic cable? UPN? and then it came to me, not who but what she was reminding me of and then it hit me: She looks like a blow up doll! Only more vacuous and probably, easier. I mean it was a relief. Do you have any idea how awful it is to have spent time, a good twenty minutes, thinking about what character in literature! Paris Hilton reminds you of? It’s Hell! Hell! I tell you.