What A Difference a Day Makes


Once upon a time I went to a very expensive frame store in Dallas and they had a clerk help you, If you ever wondered why the frames you get from Pearl always look like ass and you look like Ass in them? And the glasses wearing celebrities always look so good and seem to have frames suit them so well? And give you the impression (wrongly) that square frames would look good on you too. They can wear those frames because they don’t actually need the glasses and also because they have their own trained frame procuring technician bringing them only the most trendy, but tasteful frames that are engineered to look good and be the most flattering to them while the visually unimpaired celebrity sits on a couch and drinks bottled water while gazing into the mirror to decide which pair of suitably tasteful yet trendy, $1000 one of a kind frames to buy to wear on Letterman so they look smarter then they are. The place I went had little drawers they kept the frames locked up in and none of those frames had prices. I just sat there and the girl brought me frames to try on, they all looked good. It was that expensive. I did learn the joys of clip on sunglasses from them and that was a beautiful thing. The store was beautiful, lots of dark wood and classical music, fresh flowers, indirect lighting and artsy, designer frames arranged tastefully in the windows – and they just couldn’t make glasses and blamed me when the prescription was wrong.

Me – Um. I can’t read the billboard outside
Clerque – These frames are so much smaller then your old, tacky frames. It’s just an adjustment you’ll have to make. Will this be cash?
Me – Wait. I can’t see out of these, stuff looks funny to me.
Clerque - Again, these frames are so stylishly tiny that things just look different for the time being. Charge?
Me – I love them, but I can’t see to write out my check.
Clerque – Put your other glasses on!

I really liked those frames. They were so definitively trendy that I wanted them to be the right scrip. I suffered through yellow and pink ghosts on my keyboard and wavery text until I started to put my old glasses with their more correct scrip in them, so I could see. Not be seen, of course, out in public I wore the new ones. Until.

Until I took them to my doctor to check the scrip. They asked me why I was bringing in some one else’s glasses, because this was not my scrip. I told them that those were my glasses and I had assumed that since my name was on them as well as Isaac Mizhari ( pre-Target) that the scrip was mine. And besides, I told the Doctor, they told that it was just me and I would adjust to them. The doctor told me that the store would adjust them and that his office would take care of it. I took my frames back and a week later my glasses were ready again and strangely, they had “adjusted” themselves to the correct prescription. Shocking.

I took Alphagal with me to Lenscrafters and set about finding my cheap fill in glasses. I took Alphagal with me because 1) she can see, and 2) she has really good taste. She was also there to keep me away from the teeny, tiny square lenses jobbers and the triangular bright orange frames that always look so good on other people. If frame stores really loved the visually impaired they wouldn’t let us pick frames by ourselves.

Any way. Lenscrafters. Not tasteful, no dark wood, no flowers, with harsh, florescent lighting and shockingly Not Cheap. Pricey and harshly lit but miracle workers none the less. My insurance is covering almost all of the frames! – which is good because she was quoting me $480 for the glasses, a lot for what I was thinking was just going to be cheapo fill in glasses until my insurance paid for my “real” glasses in October.

My trendy yet attractive, Alphagal approved, glasses will be ready in two weeks! Yay!