Food Fit For A…

I think I’ve talked about this before but... If the dog food manufacturers really wanted to be at one with the dog owners that they serve, they should have a chart on the dog food bag that tells you what color the stains will be when your dog barfs all over your (formerly) cream carpet.

It makes sense. It doesn’t matter to the dog what color his food it, as long as there is something in his bowl , he is going to eat it. You could feed him fur balls and ash from the fire place and your dog would eat it up. They aren’t picky. The dog is not going to look at his bowl and say “Hmmm. You know? The presentation of this kibble is just isn’t up to snuff. I want action! I want movement! Sell it to me! this doesn’t say Yummy! To me not as attractive as it could be. I want shapes! I want colors! I want dark browns deep oranges and bright yellows!”. The dog is a dog, color blind and not really the most discriminating of diners. They put dyes in the kibble to make it look appetizing to you the owner. Did you think they make the food in little bone and steak shapes because they had a focus group at a dog shelter and asked them to rate kibble shapes for taste sensation and enjoyment.

Okay Bowser! Did you think that larger brighter yellow bone shaped nugget brought the taste of reconstituted ash alive for you more then the smaller, lighter yellow bone shape?

A) Yes, A Little
B) Yes, A Lot
C) No, Not very Much
D) No,Not At All
E) I don’t know


If the dog food manufacturers wanted to buy us, the dog food buyers devotion, they would make a dog food that was off white, tan at the darkest. They would make a dog food that when it is urped all over your carpet, would blend in! Or at least not sink in and then leave a terminal stain. They should sell the food by what color carpet it would blend in with the best the urp They could call it Purina Deep Brown Stain Chow” or “Off White Kibbles and Tan Bits Stain” and there would be no bright orange gravy producing dog foods until they come up with one that comes up cream colored .They could also talk up the easy to clean up features or offer directions on how to clean up their product when it ends up all over your carpet maybe they could branch out and sell Purina brand carpet cleaning products

Speaking of food designed to appeal to me. I decided to take a chance on Friday and had lunch at the Dix Grill. Lunch Buddy was out of town and LB is not the biggest fan of taking lunch risks nor is she one enjoy her lunch unless she has spent too much for it - so this was my chance to finally check it out.

Dix Grill is the official canteen for Dorothea Dix. I have never met anyone who has eaten there. If you bring it up people look at you like you have just admitted that you are curious to see what roaches taste like and you have a hankering for urine tea. I didn’t know where it was until I brought Dogger up to campus for a walk and then I couldn’t figure out how to drive there. I had to figure out how to get there with out the dog.

It took awhile but I figured it out. I also had to remember to have cash, I don’t carry cash so this was another stumbling block on my journey to on campus lunching. I had a Lunch Buddy Free day and had a few bucks in my wallet.

It was good! The food was good! And cheap! The dinning room was large, had a working TV, was well decorated , and was clean with out smelling like disinfectant.. The hamburger I got was, um, institutional but it was okay. I got a large drink, a handful of chips and a quarter pounder for $3.32.