I shouldn’t have counted those chickens

Kill Bug Pt. 3

Last week I bragged to my boss that I had cleaned my office and it was all “pretty”, I may also have made some comment about not being able to enter the room “with out a bunny suit”. I should have just kept it at “I cleaned my office”.

Today I found a roach. A huge roach. A huge hunting cockroach! I innocently pulled a chart out of a cabinet and was accosted by this huge clock roach! The thing was riding the chart like some kind of dirty, icky, bronco rider. I screamed, it fell off its “horse” and we circled each other. Or really, I flattened myself against the cabinets and hyperventilated while it went through my purse looking for cash. I finally stopped hyperventilating and squealing to pull myself together enough to stomp the creature – while it was a huge freaking cock roach, it was not huger then my size 9 ½’ s.

Now it lays squished into my carpet as an object lesson to the other huge hunting cock roaches that may have been a part of its scouting party - not because I am too squicked to pick it up - and we do have housekeeping people and I think dealing with squished hunting cockroaches is pretty much their gig. They have the tools for disposing of huge hunting cockroaches and I do not. The sum outcome of my college education is that I do not feel it is my job to have to dispose of the cock roaches I kill.

I went to the office manager to ask when the next time “they” would be in the building to bug bomb the place and she told me to whisper because a reporter was in the next office talking about Dukes most recent screw up and I guess she didn’t want to broadcast our roach problem. I knew about Duke’s issues last week because an ambulance chaser told me all about it because he thought I cared – or really, he thought I could hook him up with hospital info stuff and I can’t, so I gave him the number for the people who could hook him up. I read the story today and said “ohhhhhh. I am so inside, I totally knew about this last week.” Yes, even when I talk to myself, I am a goof ball.

Try Athlete

Alphagal has inspired me with her triathlons – but not enough for me to have any interest in doing them myself – You don’t see many joggers in this neighborhood because they get eaten by stray dogs, biking (I would first have to get a bike) and the only bikes I’ve seen are motorized or come with training wheels, or swimming in more then a recreational manner, I’m pretty sure the only pools in this area are of the standing water/mosquito hatchery variety. So obviously, I have been inspired, but not enough to do any of those things. In my world a tri-athalon consists of: walking the dog, bathing the dog and then toweling off the dog, I follow these up with walking up and down the stairs a couple of times to take her bedding and wet bath towels down to the basement. I did decide to start an exercise regime though. I decided that I will do, now sit down for this, hold onto your hat, 100 sit ups a day!!. I know many of you are saying “phht! I do twice that while I’m brushing my teeth in the morning!” and to you I say, “Shut Up.” I already exercise for a half hour every day; my regime to this point has not included calisthenics. I started off slow, I did 25 and thought I was going to die it was then that I decided that I did not have to do 100 all in a row, I could do them in stages. I could to work my way up to 100 in a row. It’s important to set goals.

Spring Forward, Fall back into boxes

I finally decided that I didn’t really need to have my sweaters and turtle necks at my finger tips any longer. I checked the national weather service and they didn’t say anything about freezing rain or arctic fronts in the five day outlook – so on June 12th, I put away my winter clothes! And brought my tee shirts out of hiding! And it isn’t even officially summer yet. I am such a curb buster.