Woe is Me!

My best friend has left me! The bastard went on vacation and left me here to take care of the Dogger all by myself! What kind of friend does that?

The kind of “friend” that gets to be on vacation for a full month while I, the bread winner and bill payer has to make due with just two weeks. Its not fair! Those of us higher on the food chain should get some kind of reward for it - over and above the whole advantage of “being human” .We all end up somewhere on it and we can’t all be in the “Eat bugs, lick ass” link. I would like to be in the “Full month on vacation” link though.

It’s not just my cat that is going on vacation with out me. Most of my tee shirts and all of my better socks are leaving with out me too - which leaves me catless and sockless and down to my least interesting tee shirts, if the TV was also packing its bags and setting me adrift I would feel like a contestant on Survivor- Raleigh. I almost think I could sit around and eat a lot of rice while complaining about the horrors of paradise found and bitching about my uneven tan lines or whatever they do on that show in-between posing under waterfalls and trying to remember how Lord of the Flys ended. Isn’t that what Survivor is, anyway? I hope they checked the copyright on that. I think I might even watch it if they could guarantee a dead famewhore every week.

But. I am not alone. Dogger and I are facing the darkness together. We’re going to watch TV, go on walks and sit together and be sad that I am having to wear white socks!! ( Oh, the horror!) . Dogger is going to spend the two piddly weeks I get for vacation, camping out at Uncle Broskey and Aunt Alphagals house bonding with Nephdog and enjoying life with an almost limitless expanse of back yard and the unheard of opportunely to bark at deer with out leaving the yard. She’ll suffer greatly.

This week for lunch I’m eating with the last Harry Potter. I decided it would be a good idea to refresh my memory and read a book I’m not likely to finish before I need a refill on my drink. I’m also doing this because the new Harry Potter is being released into the wild this week and I am not going to be able to jump into it until I leave for vacation or I can’t stand it and read a few chapters early. Which I am going to try like hell not to, unless, it turns out to be another 700 page wonder, in which case, I think I’ll allow myself some liberty on the “Not until vacation” stipulation.

Its going to be so lonely around here with out Kitty. Who is going to let me know that the sun has risen? Who is going to lay across my morning paper and shield me from the latest administration outrage? Who is going to park themselves under my nose at 3am to make sure I’m breathing? There will be no one in the house to redecorate my kitchen or re-purpose my utility bills. To fill the void in my households paper shredding and kitchen wreaking, I have decided that it is time to experiment with letting Dogger out of her crate and allowing her to be free in the office room during the day. . We shall see. I would like to get to the point where I can phase out the crate and just let her be free in the office room all the time with just a toddler gate standing between her and massive destruction Maybe I’ll come home at lunch...