Bzzzzzzzzt…

I slept through my alarm yesterday. This happens. I have the time set enough a head that as long as I wake up before say, noon, I should still be able to make it to work on time. I have huge lateness issues

When I do sleep through the alarm I usually chalk it up to either me waking up before the alarm goes off and saying to myself “I’ll just lay her for a minute and then get up closer to when the alarm is supposed to go off” and then fall back asleep or the alarm does go off but I turn it off with out ever waking up totally. This is rare because my usual practice is to be half way out the door and on the way to the bathroom before it finishes its first bzzzzzz.

So when I slept through the alarm twice in two days, it was time to pay a little attention to the clock. I first checked to make sure I had the right time set on the alarm - Check. Then I made sure that I had my AM/PMs straight. Check. It just doesn’t work anymore.

I need a new clock.

I hate this. I like my alarm. I’m used to my alarm. I can turn off the alarm immediately in the dark while half asleep. I do not want to have to relearn a new alarm clock... I’m also picky about alarm sounds. I startle very easily and the last thing I want to do is to start off the morning peeling myself off the ceiling. I really need the stores to have the alarm clocks out like they have the phones, I would like to try out the alarm before I take it home and I don’t think that this is too much to ask.

If this was a perfect world there would be Alarm Clock boutiques where they would have the clocks out so that the consumer could properly check out the alarms. They could be staffed by the same pretentious over educated clerks they have at music stores and they could make the customers feel bourgeois yahoos because they want the Christina Agularaesque alarm buzz instead of the Slater-Kinneyesque alarm buzz.. They wouldn’t be pretentious music snob over educated clerks they would be pretentious alarm snob over educated clerks! Alarm clocks as wine… they could be like those wine snobs who go on about the nose of the wine or the texture of it and brag about their over developed palates. If they won’t leave the alarm clocks out for us to study they could at least have very detailed explanations on the box. I want to know if the alarm is a beeper or a buzzer or a shrill shriek. I need to know how loud it is. I think the manufactures should have the alarms arranged like hot sauces – Very loud, Moderately loud, and for light sleepers who sleep with the alarm clock two inches from their heads, a gentle click would suffice. Not everyone needs to have an alarm like an air raid siren. Everyone is different and I think they would sell more if they would let you personalize the alarm experience. If they can make teeny, tiny cell phones that come with various ring tines I do see why it would be so hard to install similar technology in an alarm clock – and I don’t mean the old Radio/Buzzer choice. Radio alarm is for people who get to sleep past 6am. If I had time to be gently roused from my slumber by selections from the Cole Porter song book or recitations of today’s pork belly futures, I wouldn’t need an alarm to get up.

Kitty will be back from vacation this weekend and starting Monday the whole broken alarm issue will be moot anyway. The first morning he was gone was the first morning in months I slept “late” enough” to be woken by my alarm. It’s amazing how much clearer you think in the morning when you are allowed to sleep through the night.

Sadly, I hear the siren call of Wal-Mart . The last few times I was there I remember seeing a huge display of alarm clocks 2 for $10.