Feeding an addiction

I’m trying to figure out what Kitty does during the week when I am at work. I noticed that over the weekend Kitty dedicates 23 and 2/3 hours of the day to begging me for food. I can’t imagine what he fills his time with when I am not there.

For example. This is how he spent Saturday and with some minor changes, Sunday as well.

6:45a - Nibbled on a copy of New Yorker on bedside table until I rolled over.

6:50 - Propelled glasses case and deodorant off of bed side table and tapped clock.

6:51 - I wake up enough to be all proactive and remove clock from bed side table before he does.

6:52 - Kitty is annoyed that I removed the clock before he had a chance to. He feels thwarted and goes under bed to shred paper as revenge.

6:55 - Went back to kitchen and bumped recycling into the sink.

7:00 - Took a nap

7:24 - Awoke with a start! Realized that I had been sleeping with out interruption for 24 whole minutes! Quickly corrected his over sight by returning to my bedroom where he climbed the dresser so he could launch himself onto the bed and startle me awake. His mission accomplished, he remembered he was hungry and visited the kitchen.

7:26 - Checked food dish. In protest, slid phone book to the floor.

7:27 - Woke up Dogger so that Dogger could be awake too.

7:30 - Took nap.

8:15 - Woke up hungry and checked bowl. Came back to hallway to tease Dogger and make Dogger whine. Having accomplished this, went to check bowl again . Still protesting his empty bowl, dropped my house keys to the floor.

8:17 - Came back to hallway and played stare down with Dogger.

8:19 - Won stare down. Came back to my bedroom to take victory lap around my head, ate more of The New Yorker. Woke me up to ask question about Cat themed cartoon - laughed, curled up on my face. Dogger now whining full time.

At this point I finally got out of bed and went to tell Dogger to shut up and take her to pee. Fed Dogger. Since I was all ready up, I went to the kitchen and found Kitty watching his bowl. I took this chance and pilled Kitty. Kitty did not think this was the same as being fed and tipped over the knife rack while my back was turned.

Fed Kitty.

From that minute on, Kitty begged for food about every twenty minutes for the rest of the day. He didn’t do this over vacation even before he got sick. He got his morning meal and that was it until dinner. He never asked for a five ‘o clock snack.

But. But now he’s at home and bored and all he can think about all day is when is he going to eat next. I understand this. I start thinking about lunch by about 9am. I get it. But I don’t spend the rest of the day begging my co-workers to fed me. I think Kitty in a former life was a squirrel. A very, very industrious squirrel. The kid of squirrel who spread forests across the land. A real Johnny Appleseed squirrel. Poor little guy just never adjusted to life as a house cat.

All day he asks for food! Even with food in his dish. He begs for more.He has become so used to begging he doesn’t even always bother to see if he has any food. He just assumes he doesn’t. Over the weekend he never stopped begging for food. He sat by his bowel all day and whenever I came through the kitchen he acted out selected scenes from Oliver Twist. All I can guess is during the work week when I am out of the house most of the time he practices his pitch to Dogger. He doesn’t tip things over when I am not there. I could be gone for 12 hours and I do not come home to find the kitchen taken apart. He knows it won’t help. He doesn’t behave in the same way when he is somewhere with out me. He has me trained and he knows it.

His weekend schedule.

8:00 : Eat Breakfast.
8:15 - Beg to be fed
8:35 - Beg to be fed
8:36 - 9:00 - Sleep
9:00-11:00 - Beg to be fed
11:00-12:45p - Sleep
12:45 - 4:30 - Beg to be fed
4:30 - Eat Dinner.
4:30-5:45 - Sleep
5:45-9:00 - Beg to be fed
9:00 - Before bed snack.
9:00 - 6:00a - Beg to be fed

6:15a - Eat Breakfast
6:15-7:00 - Beg to be fed
7:00 -4:45p - Sleep
4:45 - Eat Dinner
4:45-9:00 - Beg to be fed
9:00 - Bed time snack
9:00 -6:00a - Beg to be fed

Do you think Betty Ford takes cats?