Jingle Dogs

Top 5 Phrases I’ve Used Since Sunday

5. Stop Peeing On Her
4. Stop Mounting Him!
3. Ow! Stop It!
2. Stop whining!
1. Stop Moving! How did get your whole front leg through her collar?

Did you go see Harry Potter? I’m assuming that you did as it’s made $408 million world wide since it opened last week, at least some of you must have gone to see it. I mean if you haven’t seen it yet it’s like the book only shorter… So I’m going to plunge right into discussion. Kind of. Did you know the other schools in the Tri-Wizard contest were single sex? I didn’t know that. I don’t remember that being specified in the book. I mean I might have missed that the first time but I’ve read the book a number of times and I don’t remember that detail. For those of you that did join the masses and went to see it: How glad were ya‘ll that we got to miss out on Herminie in shrill!and!tiresome! Mode going all Norma Ray and figuratively standing on a desk holding a parchment above her head trying to unionize the house elves? I mean, if she had done that I might have liked the plot line more, at least we would have been spared her endless SPEW campaigning. Standing on a desk would have been quieter. We should wish she had merely tried to be Hermione Ray. By the end of the book I was kind of hoping she would flounce off in a SPEW induced fury and fall off a convenient precipice and into the Black Lake – possibly to unionize the merthings. The movie thankfully excised all that twaddle and cut to the chase – which is fine, but, it meant the movie was All About The Tri-Wizard and wasn’t really about anything else. I may need to re-read that book again but I’m sure there was more to it then Hermione unionizing the house elves and Harry battling dragons.

You know what happens if you spend a few days with hot and cold running food? You get used to being able to eat whenever you want to. I mean the food is just there, being ready- to- eat food right in the front of the refrigerator. You want food and food presents itself. The sucky people I work with did not bring any of their food in to the office to share either. It’s not right – I think if I suddenly have a craving for stuffing, I should be able to get some stuffing! That’s how it’s worked for the last four days and I think that should carry over into this week too. Humph.

Speaking of the last four days. I have been putting together ideas for my 2005 Christmas display. In the past I have gone with cheery Border Town Whore House Meets Santa’s Workshop theme - and it looks great too, really

But. It may be time for a change. I’m on the edge of not swathing the exterior of the house in net lights… I’m thinking of downsizing the display and going with a cheery Belt Tightening Fiscal Responsibility theme instead – the Bush Bust in twinkle lights if you will. I won’t have as many light strings up but I’m thinking of doing staged reading of my last December’s power bill every night while dressed in a red white and blue unitard with backed up vocals supplied by Dogger and Kitty in Bush and Rove masks! Instead of Christmas carols I would play a recording of all those oil company executives explaining lying to congress about their obscene profits and immoral price gouging!

Seriously. I saw on one of my 378 home improvement shows I watch how I could use a tomato cage to make a festive outdoor Christmas tree and I went with it. It looks great and I think having three trees and the whore house lights around the door would look really nice and possibly lower my this years December power bill at the same time – which would be nice as it was colder inside my house then outside my house last year and I would like to experiment with not that, this year.