Manic Monday

Machinery really has let me down. We have two soda machines in our break room. A Pepsi machine and a Coke machine. I use the Pepsi machine only in the direst of circumstances - for example, I walked over to another building last week because they have a functioning Coke machine and we do not and I really, really needed a Coke.

The Coke machine is still broken. I was sure that it would have been taken care of by now. It’s been over a week and as of this morning it has swallowed at least as much as the GNP of a small, relatively prosperous third world nation. And so I can’t use it. I am sad. I mean fool me once, but fool me a third time? Even I am not that desperate for a soda.

This afternoon I decided I wanted something carbonated and I didn’t want to walk across the street and wait for someone in there to buzz me in so I could get a coke. I decided to suck it up and use the Pepsi machine for my carbonated soda needs. The Pepsi machine also has sticky notes on the front of it but it has fewer and they are from longer ago and I saw someone while I was at lunch getting a soda out of it successfully so I thought it was going to be less of a gamble than the Coke machine - also the Pepsi machine has orange soda and I like orange soda. I didn't need a Coke this time so the orange soda was good enough even though does not have caffeine, it contains enough sugar to even it out.

I put my change into the machine and held down my selection and waited. Nothing. I was becoming concerned. Finally after holding the bar down for three days I heard the machine let the can go and send it on its way. It never made it out! Noooooo!

I reached into the machine. Ew. I don’t know if I did a gynecological or a proctologic exam on it but I did ascertain it was severely constipated and probably impacted. I tried to rock the machine to free my drink but they designed it to thwart that kind of behavior. The front of the machine isn’t solid and it is just enough to tall to get a really good grip on it and the damn thing weighs a lot more then standard soda machines. I was able to make it shudder a little but not nearly enough to make it let go of my soda.

I added another sticky note to it and went and reported to the secretaries who said they would tell the office manager who is new and doesn’t know who to call and complain to about it so I’m just going to have to wait for both soda machines guys to get there and hope that somebody is paying attention to the fact that they are there so they can tell them what is wrong. You would think it would be hard to not hear the sounds of a soda machine being opened and refilled, but it happens. You would also think it would be hard to forget letting the soda machine guy into the building in the first place…

Also, my phone doesn’t work. The message light won’t go off and it won't let me retrieve my messages and the buttons don’t want to press down all the way. I tried to call another extension and nothing happened. Machines 3 Me - 0