Novel thoughts

I stayed at work instead of going home and being useful during lunch today because the book I’m reading is screeching to its long telegraphed ending – Why, why, why is it that characters in thrillers have never actually read one themselves? I sit there and think “ isn’t that guy really familiar? Don’t you know him from somewhere? Why don’t you ask why so and so is coming to see you? Haven’t you ever read James Patterson or the Kellermans? Or even Kathy Reich’s? I should not have figured out who the Crazy Mass Murdering Killer was before the books’ highly trained Tormented Law Enforcement Protagonist finally pulled her head out of her angst and put two and two together.

And speaking of bad guys. Why is it that in these books the CMMKs are always so good at what they do? And why, while they are so good at what they do, why are they so crazy? Crazy does not make you good at things. Crazy makes you bad at things. It must be a tight rope the author walks on. If the crazy guy has it together enough to do his crimes and walk away from them he may not be crazy enough, too crazy and he can't be that organized. He must be written somewhere between Psychotic but well organized and Psychotic but sitting in the corner finger painting with his own feces. The CMMK is never written as a mouth breathing moron who can barely tie his own shoes. The CMMK is always smart and witty and fun to be around. He is never some asshole you want to just punch, he and it mostly He's, always seem about as supiour as they see themselves. The TLEP is the shlubby guy or gal with bad breath, a ruined marrige and an alchol problem. The TLEP always seems to want to die almost as much as the CMMK wants to kill them.

These crazy bad guys in the books always end up shot dead after they are finally tripped up by their crazy, I imagine because they get so annoyed by TLEPs total disregard of their crazy. In the books the CMMK is almost always right under TLEPs nose, masquerading as the shifty lawn guy or TLEPs daughters’ new 30-45 year old white college educated boyfriend who keeps to himself and designs jewelry made from bird beaks or even more insidiously, as the wacky whack job standing in front of TLEPs house with a sign around his head reading "I AM THE CRAZY MASS MURDERING KILLER". But no,TLEP totally disreguards all of that because he/she "knows" CMMK so well.

After much running, jumping, psychoanalyzing each other and, ultimatly, confession hearing, The TLEP shoots the CMMK (because writing court room scenes are boring and outside The Authors skill set). The TLEP spends the rest of the book licking his/her considerable wounds and angsting over his/her total disregard of CMMK allowed CMMK to kill over and over while TLEP self indulgently navel gazed and chased down straw men and red herrings because there was no way in hell the shifty lawn guy or TLEPs daughters’ new 30-45 year old white college educated boyfriend who keeps to himself and designs jewelry made from bird beaks or even more insidiously, as the wacky whack job standing in front of TLEPs house with a sign around his head reading "I AM THE CRAZY MASS MURDERING KILLER".

Maybe I should start reading romance novels.

Sorry this is posting late. I over slept for the first time in nearly five years Damn that nice warm Kitty!