Wednesday, February 8, 2006

The Dance of the Butterfly

Next week I am going to have a house guest that is not Nephdog! Next week I get to host Mini-Kitty!

I’m excited because Mini –Kitty is just the sweetest little thing evah. She is however, the second coming of Houdini and I fear that since she puts so much emphasis on her breaking out skills she may have not spent as much time as she could have studying the finer points The-Person-Has-Gone-To-Bed-For-The-Next-Eight-Hours-So-It-Must-Be-Time-For-Everybody-To-Go-To-Bed-For-The-Next-Eight-Hours-As-The-Nocturnal-Life-Is-For-Animals-That-Do Not-Require-Outside-Assistance-To-Feed-Themselves chapter of the book of life that my animals have finally mastered.

Mini-Kitty has embraced the nocturnal lifestyle in a way that my animals have not. This might be a problem

I’m not sure what The Kitty does during the day although I have my suspicions he keeps himself both busy and awake doing things that may have something to do with money laundering and questionable email schemes. The Kitty sleeps like a log at night, obviously out of exhaustion. Dogger who does nothing but sleep all day gets really cranky if I keep her awake past 10pm.

MK also has a bad habit of sneaking out doors. I have a lot of doors and my outdoors boasts features that hers does not. My outdoors has pit bulls, city busses and morons that don’t understand that the street has no outlet.

I can all ready tell that life with Mini-Kitty is going to involve a lot more care me paying attention to what is going on around me than life with Nephdog or The Kitty. I wonder if Mini-Kitty would mind being fitted for a glow in the dark smock and an itty bitty GPS unit. Would a cat have a problem with showing up for roll call?

I’m kind of hoping that the reality of sharing close quarters with a huge, inquisitive dog will be enough to make Mini-Kitty really excited about spending most of her time upstairs hiding under the bed, behind a door and not trying to sneak out the door while I am taking Dogger our for her constitutionals . It is times like these that make me want to kiss my little old house with its formal entry ways and numerous sticky doors. I am also banking on the fact that Mini-Kitty doesn’t know how to open doors, unlike The Kitty who could star inOceans’ 17.

Speaking of Doggers morning outings, when I took Dogger out this morning, my paper was there! It was there and it was dressed appropriately for the weather in a snazzy little plastic coat! I was floored. Lately if the paper comes at all before I leave for work I have to play hide and seek with it or spend my morning standing in front of the window waiting for the paperboy to finally come down my street. I now have the My Paper Did Not Arrive line on speed dial. I have memorized the little computerized speech and to keep myself alert at 6:10 am while it goes through its little spiel I am working on my own interpretive dance to go along with it. The Kitty provides the beat by yowling at the imaginary cats that live inside the kitchen window.

For English Press 1 Jump on one foot
If You had a problem with the delivery of your paper press 1 Shimmy, Shimmy, Running Man, Running Man
If You did not receive your paper today, press 3 Its dark! I’m trapped in a box! Be an Unhappy Butterfly! Be an Unhappy Butterfly!
If you would like to register a complaint press 1 Go Butterfly, It’s your Birthday! It’s your Birthday.
Would you like to have your paper redelivered and register a complaint, press 2, if you would like your subscription extended and to register a complaint, press 3 Break free of your prison Butterfly! Flutter! Flutter Little Butterfly!
Your complaint has been registered and your subscription extended, Thank you!

Bow.

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