No Fishing Zone

Message to Lawyers at large: If you want documents from my office all you have to do is ASK. It is not necessary to subpoena me. It is even more unnecessary for you to subpoena me for items that are public record. If you still feel comfortable subpoenaing me for crap you should have just requested in the first place, make sure that you are available to answer questions pertaining to the subpoena when I call, if you want my attention, I need yours first. While your little lawyer subpoenas do get my attention they aren’t real subpoenas and slapping one in my face annoys me, unlike a real subpoena from a judge that scares me.

Jerk.

Addendum I:

If you claim to “want to stay on my good side”, the best way to do that is to simply request the documents that you need, requesting “everything I have” is not the way to my heart. I love you even less when I realize that you are going to want a four foot stack of documents. Causing this office huge time/manpower/tree consuming clerical jobs to satisfy a litigious fishing trip on your part is not the way to my good side. By the way, I have no good side.

Dick weed.

Addendum II

Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part

Gawd.

Anyway. I am reading a new book at lunch. I was reading another book but I disliked everyone involved, up to an including the people I was supposed to feel sorry for. It was also veddy, veddy British and it hurt my head trying to translate the text to Murican. And it was about politicians and tabloids. Conservative British politicians and the scary British tabloids that scare them and bored me. If I was a better person I would use the book to educate myself regarding British government and policies and …. Or I could just pick another book.

So I did.

Now I’m reading the very, very Murican Dave Barry. He wrote and actual novel and it’s all right. Dave Berry is no Carl Hiaasen, but he’ll do in a pinch. Speaking of Carl Hiaasen, why do I not have his most recent book? I know it’s out there. I blame bad, selfish people who buy the book and than fail to sell it back to my used book guy so I can buy it for $3.75. I thought in this post 9/11 world we were supposed to work together. If people won’t come across with their used books, how can we make it work?

I am enjoying the story though, so far, 36 pages in that I am. I would be further in but Dogger’s little dish is empty and I needed to go to the store to pick her up some more food. Let it be known, 22 pounds of new food was purchased for Dogger on 2/2/06. I want to see how long it takes her to eat 22 pounds of food.

Speaking of animal food. I’m waiting to see how long it takes the feral cat friends cum lately around here to notice that our resident kitties have a new food. The Cat Food Providing Powers That Be have cut the kitties’ food budget off like a Republican congressman cutting financial aid to the post-born. So, I bought new food. New Cheap Food. Really, really, really cheap food. I know these bleeding paws around here are going to be clutching their pearls about the quality of the food “Oh our poor kitty! You mean he’s eating store brand cat food! Oh The Horrors!! Shit. He ate Sam’s Club house brand for years and he survived, thrived even. Next time I’m going to make them pay for the food, better yet, the next time I’m going to let them supply the food themselves.

Addendum III

The public would stop taking their chances with the litigation lottery if it wasn’t cheaper to play and easier to win than your average scratch off game.