Bad Movies I love(d)

And so I’m watched Moving Violations last night. What? You’ve never watched Moving Violations? I’m shocked.

Anyway, the moving violations started before the credits even rolled, the DVD included the trailers they had on the tape version – remember those? When they used to do that? It was nice. Anyway. The early eighties drug use in Hollywood must have been really, really, really intense for this movie to have been greenlighted. I should have remember from the video store that a lot of the early 80s comedies seemed like fever dreams. This leads us to trailer number one:

Modern Problems - Jealous, harried air traffic controller Max Fiedler, recently dumped by his girlfriend, comes into contact with nuclear waste and is granted the power of telekinesis, which he uses to not only win her back, but to gain a little revenge.


Trailer number two:

Licence To Drive- A teen decides to go for a night on the town with his friends despite flunking his driver's test.

It doesn’t mention that it stars both Corey’s. Pre-irony! Pre freak outs! Pre selling baby teeth on Ebay! Corey Haim and the other Corey. Were they both on drugs all ready in 1988 or just the skivvy one? it's hard to tell from the trailor.

All this and my movie hadn’t even started.

I know I’ve watched Moving Violations. I think I’ve seen it several times. I’m pretty sure I have even paid to rent it. If I can remember watching it why couldn’t I remember how bad it was? Not just “a little weak, but okay”, but full one really bad and not in “Wow! They must have been on a lot of drugs, see Modern Problems” way, but just plain out bad. It stars John Murray as a landscaper, one of Bill Murray’s younger siblings doing a pretty good Bill Murray impression and Jennifer Tilly as a NASA scientist.

Take a moment to imagine Jennifer Tilly as a scientist.
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And I sat through it.

It must have used to be a better movie. How, after all the hundreds of movies I have seen over the years did I manage to remember this one? I actually remember liking the scene where NotBillMurray! And ScientistTilly! clothing gets it on in a zero gravity chamber. No, I’m not describing it badly, that was the scene. They go to “NASA” ( the set looked a lot like NORAD from War Games) where Tilley’s character works and they go to an anti-gravity chamber, shuck their clothes and sink out of frame. And that was one of the better scenes. It never got better. Ever. I did see a very young Don Cheadle in a bit part and while he momentarily classed up the place, he only had one line.

I think maybe I thought Moving Violations but was really thinking The Wild Life - which I remember as at least having a sound track I liked. I think, or maybe confusing it with a video I watched on Friday Night Videos twenty five years ago. It had something to do with a bill board of a donut and a cop car? Moving Violations did feature a cop car and a sign. But …

Next up The Santa Clause.