True Faith

I walked the two dogs and again I am put in the mind of Moses as he parted the Red Sea. Big scary guys out for a big scary guy stroll? phht, nominally worrisome teens on bikes? phht on wheels.

Nephdog is scary. Kind of. At a distance. If his mouth is closed. Up close you can see he has dental issues that manifests themselves in a lack of teeth. He has fierce gums though, fierce gum disease! His breath could stop a truck. Scarey if you’re a truck, less so if you’re a scary guy out for a stroll. Those who don’t know from breeds or know only “pits and Rots” also think he must be a very big pitbull. Pitbulls like faces. Nephdog looks like he would like to eat your face.

Dogger on her own is big. She’s a big damn dog. She is also the most famous dog in the neighborhood. Everyone knows what a teddy bear she is. Dogger is not much of a threat - more likely to lick your face than eat it but fortunately, big scarey guys are big scaredy guys when they see a big damn dog.

Right now, both big scary dogs are laying on the floor watching a toy. They both want the toy. They have both had the toy and they both want it back.

They are both too lazy to get the toy.

So now they are laying nose to nose on the floor with the celebrated toy sitting between them like the DMZ. They take turns running over the DMZ and taking the toy. The dog on the losing side then lays there nose to nose with the winning dog and whines until the winner dog loses interest in the toy and they start the stand off again.

Nephdog has the toy now. He got it after Dogger saw a dust mote. Dogger has a very small brain and when she uses it, it whirrrrrs. Dogger is strictly analogue.

While Dogger was thinking about the dust mote, Nephdog took the toy.
Now, minutes later, dust mote forgotten, Dogger has noticed that Nephdog has the toy. Suddenly, the toy that wasn’t as interesting to her as a dust mote is now: The Only Toy In The World. I should mention that Dogger is the most spoiled dog ever and the floor is covered with other toys. There are two dogs and eleven thousand toys.



Dogger really just wants a toy, she’s not picky. True your toy is very interesting to her and she would like your toy, but she can deal with her toy just as well and she can, if she must, wait for your toy to become avaliable.

Nephdog is a little more of a believer in the One True Toy faith. His church says that your toy is my toy is the only toy have no other toys before it and so he does show a little less interest in the other toys than Dogger does. “Less Interest” as defined by tunnel vison and a single minded pursuit of what he wants. Dogger can be just as enthralled momentarily, by other toys or noises or dust in the air or me . Dogger has the attention span of a nat.

Nephdog, for his part has the attention span of a fly. It’s going to be a fun week.