Happy State Employee Week

Greetings Fellow State Employees:

In recognition of your hard work and dedication to the State of North Carolina, I have proclaimed May 1 –7 as “State Employee Recognition Week” and today “State Employee Recognition Day.”

In no real recognition of your hard work, we're keeping it on the downlow - I love ya'll, but not in public you know, and cash would just cheapen what we have. Instead of paying you more we're going to spend a lot of money to do all kinds of improvements into the office space that you will be leaving in three months! Honest, new walkways and phone systems! The whole nine yards. We are all about investing in you, the state employee and the office space you will be abandoning in the coming months, you know, instead of paying you more, which would be too much like right and we don't do that. You ever hear the phrase "Close enough for government work"? Welcome to State Government! Improving soon to be abandoned buildings one building at a time.

The caliber of North Carolina’s State employees is evident in your continued loyalty and devotion to serving our citizens.

The caliber of all five of you whose loyalty (clinical depression) and desire (questionable home based business) have left you without much energy is evident in your continued non-ability to seek out higher paying and more prestigious jobs in the private sector.

As we honor your commitment to public service, I join all North Carolinians in celebrating the vital contributions you make on behalf of North Carolina’s working families.

As we somewhat but not really honor your commitment to "public service". i.e., dealing with Poor People. I join all of North Carolinians to thank you for your contributions on the behalf of North Carolina's Poor People.

It is your hard work and your passion for serving our people that makes North Carolina such a great State.

It is your hard work that has left North Carolina in such a state.

I am proud of your remarkable accomplishments in your work and in your communities, and I urge you to continue your career of public service. Together, we continue to build “One North Carolina.” Thank you for your service to our State. Keep up the good work!

I'm honestly shocked that ya'll get as much done as you do with what you have. Frankly, we're a little scared of ya'll. Next week we're going to try carpet bombing.

With kindest regards, I remain
Very truly yours,
The Governor.