Holy

They called me to come get my new glasses! Yay!

I was thinking about the whole “pre-pregnant” thing,all your uterus belong to us and being freshly outraged and I thought “what a bummer for the guys this would be”. I mean, if it gawd forbid caught on? And all us gals spent most of our time and energy dedicated to maintaining our “shrines” for the off chance we might conceive? Think of it ”Hi! My name is Misty and I’m 21 and pre-pregnant! I am totally fertile! I don’t drink, use birth control, do drugs, have a cat, have any piercing or tattoos, color my hair, get my teeth cleaned or engage in other unsafe activities that might put any prospective zygotes at risk! Wanna party!” .

Seriously. Ideas of this kind, a new focus on "maternal health", "improving infant mortality" the words used, the hereto-for upstanding pro-woman groups behind it lead to a slippery slope. Sure, it starts with chatter about improving the health of pregnant women, decreasing preventable birth defects. Good things.

Introducing "Pre-Pregnant" as a designation for all women of child bearing age? It creates a disturbing new classification. It will mean that little girls from their first periods will be trained to put the health of their unborn children ahead of their own. It says that they will most certainly have children. What about birth control? Are we just taking for granted that all girls will get pregnant? Are they going to take away birth control because it creates an environment that is not good for babies? And thus must be avoided. We don’t need to always be preparing our bodies for child bearing, our bodies do that quite well all by themselves, every month.

All the things they want woman of child bearing age to adhere to have nothing to do with their health. The things they want us to do are about nourishing and protecting potential future off spring that we may someday carry. It has the frightening supposition that child bearing is all we can do with our bodies and that we all even want to do that with our bodies.

So ladies, go now and stock up on birth control, and you know what else? Beer and caffeinated drinks and whatever tattooing or piercing needs you may have and smoke ‘em if you got ‘em - because pretty soon?> we’re all going to be vassals of the state. How wasteful!! Non-procreative sex is dirty and bad and painful and if you’ll hate it! If you insist on and enjoy having nonprocreative sex you’ll die! well, that’s what happens on House and CSI every week so it must be true!

Aren’t men walking baby makers as well? The Khristians tell us it takes a Mommy and a Daddy who really, really, really lurve each other to properly “miraculously” cause babies to be made. I mean it doesn’t matter how pristine a woman maintains herself as a perfect baby making vassal for the Daddy’s holy patriotic baby batter if Daddy’s’ holy patriotic baby batter isn’t up for the task - Mommy could have been awarded a gold plated uterus for her maintaining her baby making parts in perfect working order and if Daddy has mobility issues - well, that couple would end up wasting procreative sex intercourse! I mean, if both partners haven’t maintained themselves in order to achieve perfect fertility and that states resultant purity! Oh My Gawd! They might not be able to make holy patriotic love and conceive holy patriotic babies!! Or even worse, still engaging in unholy unpatriotic sex without the intention of holy patriotic conception! Gawd forbid! Sex for pleasure, non-procreative sex! Where would we be if couples on purpose engaged in the act of holy patriotic baby making and didn’t make babies? Dear Gawd, we’d be Italy