Little Old Lady

You can’t her it but that sound you’re not hearing is my computer playing selections from Rent, without the benefit of a CD!

I feel so 21st century. It’s too bad though, otherwise I would have to be blasting show tunes out my open windows. I think the drug dealer and his friends would dig show tunes... I wouldn’t absolutely have to, The machine has a CD player built in but it is so much more satisfying to use the player in the living room because I have to crank it up in order to hear in the office. If the drug dealer and his friends have experience second hand music, tough.

I kind of was in the mood to listen to something but I didn’t really feel like digging out anything to listen to. I’m very lazy and they are less than completely easy to get to. I don’t often spontaneously find myself in the mood to listen to anything that doesn’t come equipped with out its own laugh track. By the end of the day I need pictures. I’m so not in my twenties anymore. I tried to read a Rolling Stone not long ago and it might as well have been written in Greek. I didn’t recognize any of the bands and the people looked like aliens to me. Very young aliens. I am so old.

I looked at them and all I could think of was how sorry they were going to be someday when they are you know, my age and they are covered with those nasty tats and they don’t feel comfortable wearing short sleeves in public and they are having to spend their time ducking and weaving and trying to teach junior that daddies earrings are not toys and even worse, someday they’re going to be ancient and in some nursing home some where and those tats and piercings are not going to age well. I would not want to be the 85 year old woman in a home with “Do Me!” tattooed across her ass. You should keep in mind that eventually you aren’t going to be hot anymore but you are going to be incontinent. Be careful what you have written in you “peri area”, I’m just saying. You won’t get a chance to read your chart, but it will be noted that the large red area across your coxix is actually not a pressure area that needs to be staged, but a tattoo that used to read “Mama Likes!” .

This computer playing music thing is cool though. I did kind of think that it was kidding while it was doing it though. I sat there and watched it and said to myself “Yeah. It’s doing something but I bet in real life it isn’t really doing anything”. That’s how my luck with electronics runs if I had Tivo it would only tape the shows I told it not to. I would end up with 30 hours of Wrestle-mania and According to Jim instead of 30 hours of Match Game and My Name is Earl.

But ya know what? I know how to play my old folks music on the machine now. I can listen to Depeche Mode whenever I want to.