Election Day or once bitten, twice shy

You know what I found myself wondering about the other day? What do penguins feel like? I mean if you were to hug an Empire penguin, would it be squishy and feathery feeling like a regular bird or kind of soft and fluffy like a cat? Or would it be solid, like hugging your dog?

Empire Penguins are big birds, big heavy birds, would it be kind of like embracing a person? Are EPs all feathers or are they mostly fat? Would a penguin want to be hugged or do they have personal space issues? Has any one asked? Tried?

I was watching the Hallmark Channel the other day and they were advertising their airing of March of the Penguins at the end of the month. I watched it in the theatres and I don’t remember if they addressed how the penguins felt about being hugged or what it felt like to hug a penguin. I also wondered if they smell. Birds nests really stink and Emperor penguins are their nests, so I would guess they would smell like a nest, in that case, maybe you wouldn’t want to hug them even if they were open to it, But maybe because it is so cold, there isn’t the same nest odor issues that present themselves as in warmer environments.

Well, penguin tangents aside, it’s Election Day. The big mid-term elections that we have been thinking about and plotting for since we got handed our asses two years ago. I worked so hard two years ago. I haven’t done jack this time.

I did make three calls for Moveon. Despite their best efforts to piss me off and turn me against them. I made my calls in spite of their heavy handed guilt tripping. I told them I didn’t want to do it and that I would be happy to write them a check instead, but noooo they wouldn’t take I-Don’t-Want-To or a $15 check for an answer. Fine. No means No, Moveon.

I was so hurt the last time. I had been all gung ho and going to meetings and getting up early on Saturdays and going out and knocking on doors and handing out literature and being so good. This time I didn’t do jack. I never even went by Democratic Headquarters. In my defense, the local Wake County people never called me either. I did notice a change this election cycle though, this time there was a lot of signage in my neighborhood and their was evidence that some one from the party had gone door to door. I bitched about the party ignoring the minority neighborhoods the last time around; I thought they were taking them for granted – which they were. The Democrats can be very stupid. I’m hoping they learned from their mistakes.

I can’t help but to think about how hard we all worked last time, how much energy was put forth, how many hours were spent working for the party and how hopeful and excited and happy we all were. We really thought we had a chance, and then we lost. Very.

It really hurt. It really hurt me, I did all that work and had a really good time doing it and then we lost. I couldn't get over how much fun we had and we still got beaten. I talked a good game afterwards but part of me died. I was too sad to get involved. It was like being burned by a bad boyfriend and being afraid to get out there again.

I think that’s why I didn’t do anything this time around. I’m not excited about being burned again. I’m paranoid that the Democrats good polling numbers and the Rethuglicans bad numbers are all a Rovian trick being played on us to get democratic voters complacent and hopeful and to light a fire under the rethuglican base, and to ultimately break our (my) heart(s) again. I don’t trust anything I see regarding our chances – good, bad or indifferent. I think the Rethuglicans are going to steal the election again and all the Rethugs being publicly outed as crooks and liars and pervs is just an elaborate form of a political purge. It’s like the Stalinist purges without the actual murders. It’s their political lives being snuffed instead of their actual lives. It’s a “lite” purge.

I want us to win. I want America to be okay again. I want to be able to fly my flag again. I want to believe again. I’m afraid I’m going to get burned again.

VOTE DAMN IT. VOTE A STRAIGHT DEMOCRATIC TICKET. USE YOUR VOTERS GUIDE!!

edited to add - I was at my polling place when the does opened and I was the sixth in line and my ballot was the first one in the machine, Paper ballots tahnak you very much