Sweater Weather

How was your morning? I started off by stepping on a dead rat. I knew it was a rat, I was taking Dogger out for her morning pee and I felt myself step on something and I thought that maybe it was a frozen turd and then I said to myself “It’s a dead rat. You stepped on a rat. You are going to have to dispose of dead rat before you leave for work”. I decided maybe I had stepped on a piece of wood.

On Doggers second trip out to pee it was light enough that I was able to tell for sure that what I had stepped on was not a frozen turd or a piece of wood. It was a rat. A dead rat but thankfully, not long dead rat. I’m so good at this now I just bagged it up like bagging up dog bomb – it makes it easier for some reason. In my mind picking up a dead rat is more gross than picking up a dog bomb. I do the same action and use the same tools and they end up the same place. It’s still gross though, it is not the start of the day you want. On the upside though, it was kind enough to die on the sidewalk and not in the grass. It is much grosser to pick up dead rat from the grass. There is disengagement involved with grass pick ups. This is something you want over fast. A scoop and run approach is the best outcome. The more time you spend on the dead rat the more time you have to think about what you’re doing. I am very close to a dead rat. I am touching a dead rat. There is a dead rat in my plastic bag covered hand rat. I am carrying a dead rat… .

And anytime you can get your dead rat issues taken care of while it is still early in the circle of life, the better. You really don’t want to have to go all CSI – Dead Rat at 6:20 in the morning.

My dead rat issues far behind me, I really wanted to go to Chick-Fil-A for lunch today. I mean, big time. But I couldn’t remember if they saw the light and started to take plastic or not and I didn’t have the cash handy to buy my lunch there if they hadn’t. I couldn’t risk it as the only other food at that shopping center is the worst Chinese restaurant on the planet. Really a Gawd awful place and I could have eaten the hour at Tuesday Morning, I really, really wanted to eat and not in a time waste kind of way.

I thought about it and I also needed to get gas in the car. That meant Sam’s Club. It also meant I could look again for the XL men’s sweater that I needed. I know that Sam’s Club is the same as Wallyworld, but they usually have better clothes at Sam’s. Isn’t that sad? You can get better clothes at a warehouse store than a Wallyworld. True, the clothes may smell like tires, but, hey, they are nice clothes that smell like tires.

I found my XL men’s sweater! It’s very nice. A little more than I had wanted to spend, but still cheap enough I can spring for long johns. I always go to a long johns place because I am always cold and I assume that other people must be as least as cold as I am, to be cold natured is to suffer in silence while the rest of the world opens the windows without asking. I’m too cheap to fully heat my house but other people can’t heat their homes fully because they can’t afford to. Mr. XL sweater is homeless or lives in shelter. I think he wants to be warmer.

I got good news today. I no longer have to keep an activity log! 15 weeks later and I am off the hook! And all I had to do was quit my job! If I had only known 14 weeks ago...