Happy Happy

Today is Broskeys birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BROSKEY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!


Now, onto a completly different subject.

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Do ya'll get mailings from pre-need services? Once you pass whatever the current magic mile marker the AARP has set up, they have your number and they will never let you or any of their venders forget it. Wake up one day feeling especially good? Check the mail and there will inevitably be a postcard from some pre-need burial services that thanks to the AARP, has your name.

Hey, you think you’re in the best shape of your life, you feel good and possibly even look good. Plan your funeral now.

I get two or three of these a month, inevitably on days when I’ve managed to fool myself and my doctor into believing that that I’m healthy and in good shape. Those pre-need people never rest, it doesn’t matter what the insurance company says your life expectancy is, your genes, your lifestyle – those people want you to remember that you are going to die!! And that if you don’t do start paying for your funeral right now, today even, well, something bad will happen. They want your money and they want it now.

Pre-need – You are going to die.
Average person - I’m 35
PN – Oh, you’re going to die!
AP – I’m healthy.
PN – You could get hit by a truck tomorrow.
AP – If I do get hit by a truck tomorrow, what good will one day of pre-need burial insurance get me?
PN- Peace of mind.
AP- Peace of mind and what? I would bet you won’t pay up after just one payment.
PN – Your wishes will be respected.
AP – If my wishes were respected I wouldn’t have been hit by a truck.
PN – It could happen. We’re all going to die.
AP – Okay, what about if I don’t die. If I just keep on going, you know world’s oldest person territory?
PN - Your wishes will be respected, regardless of your life expectancy.
AP – How are you keeping track of these things? I mean, in 64 years technology will have changed. Your staff will have turned over, how will my interests be protected?
PN- We are pre-need specialists.
AP -If I live to be 89 and I send you $35 a month from now until then, that’s $420 a year times 64 years equals $26, 880, that is in today’s money, my research says that will get me something in the “respectful” range of caskets and what? Flowers are really expensive. Does the insurance cover flowers? How about my clergy? What if in 64 years time my family have become Scientology members? Does your insurance protect my interests clergywise?
PN – Peace of mind.
AP – I’m going to be dead, I’ll have achieved peace prior to the funeral. What do I care?
PN – Your family’s peace of mind!
AP – If in 64 years my surviving family members have lost their minds?
PN – Your insurance will make sure your wishes are respected.
AP – What if I lose my mind somewhere along the way and I want some kind of cult funeral? How does that affect my pre-paid pre-needs that I made pre-cult? Who keeps track of all this? Oh. My . God. They haven’t even been born yet. My death will be handled by some one not yet living. I’m not sure I like that.
PN – It’s all about peace of mind.

I think I want to be surprised. I wonder if they offer a grab bag option?