Stuffing your stockings

I need new stockings. I just noticed this. You would think I would have noticed that there was a runner in the toe large enough to out my entire foot though. I would have noticed this, but I’m not at my best in the morning, I see a stocking, I put on the stocking, I put the shoe on, I move on. I’m all about moving on.

I’m pretty sure this isn’t a new runner either. I’m pretty sure I noticed this before and said to myself “Wow. I should throw this away”, but I notice this while I’m at work and I’m not really in a position to throw away a stocking in the middle of the day. Someone might notice that I am wandering around with only one stocking and then there is the whole sticking to the shoe part or the catching cold part and, well, I forget about it again.

Eventually I go home and take off the stocking and dutifully put the stocking into the laundry and then from there it is literally lather, wash, repeat. They don’t look torn so they go back into the rotation and then after a while I notice that one of my stockings feel weird. It’s a never ending story. What I should do when I notice a torn stocking is to just throw it away ASAP. Tell the people at work I am channeling Miami Vice and then at lunch go to Target and buy a new pair. Or a pre-packaged bunch of pairs.

This time of year though I am loath to buy myself things. I should write a letter to Santa:

Dear Santa,

Please go to Target and bring me knew knee high stockings in black and navy blue. I promise I would bitch about getting socks for Christmas; I will be totally cool with it. I would also like a leaf blower and film for Minnie’s windows, not really dark film, don’t feel the need to pimp my ride or anything, just enough so that Dogger doesn’t get a tan in the back seat. She has very sensitive skin.

Thanks,

Diana

I don’t see anything wrong with asking for stuff you will use for Christmas, it’s not just about getting stuff for someone that they would not buy for themselves, you know, like things that they may not find useful. While earrings and froffry things are nice and everyone likes getting toys, sometimes you really do genuinely want stockings. There ain’t nothing wrong with finding a ten pack of knee highs under the tree, if you catch my drift. Not every gift has to be special and wonderful and one of a kind. 10 of a kind can be very kewl too.

You know what I want to get accomplished this weekend? Nothing. I don’t want to have to get anything done. I want to watch movies and maybe take care of the laundry. But I’m not going to run around like I did last weekend and this week too, now that I think of it. My goal for the weekend is to have no goals.