Things that go whooshing by in the light

(Blogger was bloggered by Blogger)

I did well by my vow to do as little as possible. I did do laundry and I did take Dogger for a walk. I also went shopping. All in two days! I impress myself with my own slothfulness. I think I will try to be as slothful as possible for the coming weeks. I mean, if I am the only one who is going watch the faux pine needles pile up in not-so-faux piles on the carpet, are they really piling up? I don’t think so. You really have to have witness statements to back up any allegations of poor housekeeping. If I don’t think the house is in need of tidying, then the house is arguably not in need of tidying. Dogger and Kitty have no vote.

You can also give the appearance of a clean house by the liberal use of air freshener. A house that smells gives the impression of a house that is indeed clean – whether it is or not. You spray a little air freshener on a dust gerbil and it instantly transforms into a fun homemade potpourri craft project. Try it.

Oh, and I took Dogger for her annual picture with Santa:



I think the gingerbread man looks a little disturbed, but isn’t she adorable? She didn’t pee on Santa or in front of Santa or on Santa’s little patch of indoor-outdoor grass. Yay Dogger. She did however think that the treats bowl on the “elves” table was all hers because she was so adorable and should eat all of them. I think they didn’t take into account that tall dogs would come to see Santa too.

During one of Doggers walks this weekend I ran into a man standing in his driveway. I was happily plugged into my Faux Pod so I thought he was just doing a little yard work, perhaps putting up his Christmas lights. No, in fact he was trying to ask me if I saw the gigantic killer Giant Horned Owl that had just tried to jack him and his rake.

He was quite elderly and he said while he knew what a great horned owl was, he had never had one try to mug him. He was a little concerned that the owl may try to come back to finish the job. I told him that Broskey and Alphagal had one that lived in a tree in front of their last home. He asked what they did with it. I told him that they left it alone.

Little Old Man – It was four feet tall and had eyes just like a person!
Me – Broskey and Alphagal had one in a tree in their yard
LOM – What did they do with it?
Me – They left it alone.
LOM – Do they (owls, not Broskey and Alphagal) go after people? It had eyes like a person!
Me - No! They eat voles, other birds, cats, rats, small dogs, snakes, you know, vermin.
LOM – Snakes! They go after snakes!? They would carry off a dog?
Me – Well, small snakes and really little dogs.
LOM – It had eyes like a person and it stood 4 feet high!! There’s one there must be more back there!!

Dogger and I took off before the old mans Pteranodon came back. I didn’t want to have to bond with a day flying Great Horned Owl. I just cheeked Wikipedia, and Great Horned Owls don’t get to be four feet tall. I don't know what that man saw, but it’s a good thing Dogger and I left when we did.