Yesterday...

I’m sitting here thinking that this is the last day that it’s going to be business as usual. I hadn’t thought about that before, that today is my last day on autopilot and after today I won’t be able to just be. I’m going to have to learn new things again. I’m probably going to have to change my lunch schedule , which I will tell the powers that be, that I have no problem with that at all, but in real life, I have problems with that. I’ve eaten lunch at the same time for five and a half years. 11:30-12:30. Like clock work. I don’t know how they handle lunch “down there”, do they eat at the same time everyday or does it depend?

It’s also my last day of sitting in my office. It’s cold, it’s isolated, it’s kind of sad, but its mine! I have a whole room to myself and I have windows! True, the window are covered up by 5' cabinets and for the most part what I see out the little bit of windows that are not covered up is parking lot, still. Mine, my parking lot.

When I drive up to the building I can look at it and see my office. It’s not going to be mine anymore. I’m going from office to cubical, true, it is a large cube and it does have a very lovely window that looks out over our very lovely front yard… so it’s hardly slumming. I’ll survive. I’ve had to pack up all my stuff – it came to quite a lot of stuff, after all five and a half years later, you gather a lot of junk. I found oput what happened to all the free stuff I've picked up at all those health fairs and United Way thingys - it's been sitting in my desk drawer mating. Those free pencils are just like wire hangers, leve them in a dark place for a while. turn your back on them and they multiply. I also had to go through my list of "favorites" and cut and paste them and then mail them to myself - If I do end up loseing my computer, I don't want to loose Fark.com as well. The IT person told me she thought I would keep my computer, but that was a while ago. I really want to keep my computer.

I also wonder about my hours. I should have spoken to someone about this before now, but I get to work at roughly, 7am. I am of course not exactly working at that hour, but I am in the office. I did finally go ask my new supervisor and she said I didn’t need to be there until eight. 8am! I’m going to be able to do, probably going to have to do my morning surfing from home. On dial up! Waaaaaaah.

My Gawd, not arriving at work until 8am? That’s practically in the middle of the afternoon! It also means I’m going to have to stay past my usual 4:30 pm. I need to leave at 4:30 because Dogger needs to get some exercise before it gets dark. It gets dark at 5:30pm and with traffic I won't get home until twenty after five and then it's all ready dark! and it gets earlier every day. I wonder if I tell my new supervisor that I live in a “marginal” neighborhood and I have to leave no later than 4:30pm because, you know, I have to take my dog for a walk? Think she’ll understand?

Me – Yeah. I’m sorry. 8-5 doesn’t work for me. I need to work 7:30-4:30.
NB- Okay, why?
Me - Great! Because I have issues and I don’t handle change well at all. I’m fine as long as my routine is not messed with, Mess with though, and dayum, I really have issues. Did I tell you that in the interview?
NB- You said you thrive on change.
Me – I lied. Oh, and by the way? I need to leave for lunch no later than 11:30, ‘kay?

I’ll survive.

I could if I had to, walk Dogger in the ayum. I’ll have the time, and a morning walk might be good for both of us. I think the downtown traffic is an issue later in the morning though, at 6:45 when I’m out most mornings, I am the traffic. But, it is just Raleigh downtown traffic. I think I’ll survive.

The filing has been light today but I’ve still been running around like a crazy person – here a subpoena, there a request, everywhere someone wanting something now! after I'm gone who is going to do all that stuff?

I need to calm down.

I need to be happy. I need to breathe. I’ll survive and so will the office.