Jesus! Mary! And Joseph!

With Tiny E’s baptism coming up I thought I would find her something appropriately religious in nature – I take my responsibilities seriously. I thought Baby’s First Rosary would be an easy get, also,not expensive.

Boy,was I wrong. First I have to find a Catholic Oasis in the middle of the King James Desert. This is not easy. In reality your garden variety “Christen” store is actually a Protestant store and they don’t tend to sell rosaries. Books about papists? sure would you like to see one about how Catholics worship statues or the ones about how Catholics don’t read the bible or are witches or some such ignorant clap trap. Whatever. Reason numbers 1-23 for not doing business with those places.

But. There is a Protestant Store in just about ever strip mall and more and more if you go in and ask where the rosaries are, the help is less and less likely to make a face and more and more likely to send you to the jewelry counter. Not the greatest but better than a snort and a comment about statues.

I would like a choice of rosaries. I want shiny ones and wooden ones and since this is for a baptism I want to see cute little pink ones and maybe some wooden ones in primary colors and then I would like to overthink the whole thing. I need choices for that. And I don’t want to pay a lot because I know if I paid more attention at church camp I could make one myself and wouldn't that be special and meaningful?! I suck at godmotherhood all ready! It doesn’t take special beads you know – they don’t have to be blessed or prayed over. It’s just beads. But sadly, I didn’t pay attention at church camp. I played poker for pencils at church camp.

Okay. So I went online. And rosaries were plentiful. Expensive! But plentiful. I was shocked. They wanted upwards of $80 for them. For rosary beads! And did you know there were Men’s and Womans rosaries? I had no idea. I thought one set was like another but apparently there is a difference. I had always seen them as being pretty gender non-specific but maybe I have always had a woman’s rosary? I mean, the stuff you learn online today.

I learned that the kind I’ve always had cord rosaries are what they call “plastic rosaries” in the biz. I also now know why they are the only kind I’ve ever had – they’re cheap.

But if you are too pious for mere plastic beads you can shell out the bucks for ”deluxe” set.. Maybe if you’re Mel Gibson’s wife… are break away, lets-face-it- heretical pseudo- Catholic sects even allowed to use officially sanctioned Roman Catholic Church approved tools or do they have to make their own? I mean how would any one know? I mean sure, Mel does walk around with a flashing "Hi! I'm a Heretic !" sign, but how about the others?

Do you think Mel saw The Da Vinci Code?

I think I found the right gift but am I being a bad Godmother-to-be if I shopped for it online? Do I have to make the pilgrimage to the store? I’ve been to Catholic Bookstores in the past and they are almost as scary as the “Christen” Stores. More so because I can’t blame any of it on “them”. If I saw Priest and Nun dolls at one of “their” stores I would raise holy hell.