We're so cute when we commit felonies...

I was listening to the radio again the other day and this song started and it had kind of good beat and you know whatever. I'll give it an 8, Dick you can dance to it and it's got a good beat, minus points because the singer was on Murrican Idiot and is a Right-wing Barbie. And once again, I made the mistake of listening to the lyrics. I know this is how Tipper got started back in 85.

Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleach blond tramp,
and she's probably getting frisky...
right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey...

Oh, yeah. I hate that girl. She's a whore. I feel your pain, right-wing Barbie! You are a natural blond! The only one! Just You! And girlfriend, you shoot whiskey like a pro!

Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo...

What a bitch. She knows exactly what she's doing. Whore!

And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Wait. You're rid of him and now you're punishing his car? You lucked out and aren't spending another evening at a scuzzy pool hall with him and you vandalized his car? Gawd, send him flowers! For cheating on you! He did you a favor White Trash Barbie! Is it worth it? Is he? I doubt it. If you want his new girl to know about him, sneak in and wait for her in the ladies room... tell her he's a real sixty second man and all the wood she was really feeling was the pool cue and then leave. Maybe go and throw a drink in his face. In. Out. No laws broken.

Right now, she's probably up singing some
white-trash version of Shania karoke..
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"
and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky,
Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo...
And he don't know...

A couple of days ago it was you singing Shania up there, you are the last person who needs to be talking about karoke. And lets not throw around accusations of white trashiness shall we? Really. And you know the whole "I'm drunk!" thing because you did it first, you probably hold the patent. And you, honey, shouldn't talk about knock off Polo, the way you rock the Miss Stetsun.

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...


...And now we all know why he's cheating on you! You're crazy and mean. No wonder he found someone a little less insane. More power to him.

And trashing a car like that? It's wrong, it's illegal, it's immoral and it's not cute. And thanks to this song a lot of little white trash girls listening to country radio are going to think that this vandalizing if cars is fun, and liberating and okay and just how you deal with a cheating boyfriend. It's not. If a man was singing gleefully about trashing his girl friends car, the song would never make it to the airwaves ,because violence against women is wrong. Stalking is wrong. Behaving in that manner is wrong.

The crime she is glorifying isn't less scary or wrong because it was committed by someone wearing cute shoes and a hair squishy. She's doing more than breaking her nails, she breaking the law. And the whole song is about how good it feels to break the law and we're not talking about egging his front door or leaving nasty messages on his machine.

Repainting a car - $800-$3500
Body work - $400-$2500
New leather seats - $175 a seat
New head lights - $75-$200

That's not chump change and it's not small claims court he would be taking her to.

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
[Before He Cheats Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com]