The Cats' Pajamas

Things that makes me tired:

Any discussion of "Wither Smokey", we caught him, he got him inoculated and then we let him go. He was around for a couple of days and then he bounced back to the other building. Probably the only home he has ever known - and then we took him away from there again and he hung around for a day and he went back home. And now we have the angst Where is Smokey? Have you seen Smokey? I checked the other building and we wasn't there either!, He drank a lot of water when he was here, I bet he has kidney damage! It's making him confused, demented even! he needs us!, The week end is what did it, He was here on Saturday... I had no idea so many people frequented the building parking lot over the weekends Where is he? Do you think he's all right, I checked the other building and he wasn't there... We shouldn't have brought him over/We should go get him now!

I know that every one of us has our own little Smokey song we sing every-time we go outside, they are all a variation on : Here Kitty! Come on baby! Kitty, Kitty! Want some food? Here Kitty, come on Smokey!". What if he were some homeless guy named Smokey who hung out in our parking lot? Would we feed him? Obsess over him. Sing to him, talk to him? Cry over him? Are we nice to him because he isn't a human? Or because we think he is?

..And he doesn't come when he's called because he's not here and it hurts. Everything is so different, we're spread all over the new building and now we're with all these strangers, it's not like it was. As much as we wanted to move we never thought what it was going to be like in real life. It was one thing to pour over the blue prints it was quite another to have to live in the blueprints. I think everything looked closer together, like we would still see each other and we don't, we can't, we're on different floors, all mixed up with these new people. It changes things.

If we have Smokey we have something we're used to, something that didn't change, something, the only thing familiar about our new building. We're lonely for each other and we want our kitty back and he's not as lonely for us as we are for him. I'm lonely for him, it makes me sad to go out in the parking lot and not see him, I come in every morning and he's not hanging out in the parking lot waiting for me. He waited for me every morning, no matter how badly my day turned out to be, it always started out good, because of him.

And I'm tired of phone calls and meetings and angsting about him. I want him back but all these obsessing over where he is all the time is very depressing and it's not making him hang out with us. He is the cutest, sweetest little raccoon in a cat suit ever, and don't you forget it! But his office didn't move, just ours... I'm going to give on of my friends my cell number, just in case he comes back while I'm gone.