It was the best of weekends, it was the worst of weekends...

It was the best because I got a phenomenal deal on the clothes washer of my dreams, it was the worst of weekends because Dogger lost a “Cutest Dog” contest at a dog fair to a six week old puppy . Dogger was able to excel at the one task they didn’t have a contest for “Most number of vendor tables overturned in pursuit of treats”.

We did get some good free stuff and after we got home Dogger soothed her damaged ego by destroying her freebie tennis ball.

I told her she was totally the cutest full grown dog there, and I went out to shop.

I went out in search of the lowest priced washer, A.K.A. the only washer on the market in my price range. I looked at many, many white boxes that did essentially the same thing but the pricey ones did that thing with up to 9 different settings of agitation, four different water levels and six different water temperatures . I have never been in the market for a washer before and I was shocked at how mkuch they cost, It’s one thing to idly window shop, it's quite another to go in there with your wallet in hand.

I found three models that I could live with. The cheapest, the second cheapest and the cheapest expensive model they had. I went and looked at the front loaders and cried. They use almost no energy at all and much less water and are completely out of my budget. They don’t even come in the hateful, Earth depleting white boxes either, they only come in pale green. The one I would have bought if I could was autographed by Al Gore and the literature (on recycled paper) promised it would be delivered in a prius flatbed. Sigh.

I found an appliance section guy and he told me many, many things about my three choices. I never wanted to know that much and frankly, he rattled all of it off so fast I couldn’t understand him anyway. I was really tired. I thanked him for his time and assured him I would get back with him when I made up my mind. This was when I started to read the little posters they had up. I discovered that unless I was planning on carting the machine home myself and hooking it up and had some clue as to what to do with the old machine, I was going to be charged $59 non-refundable, on top of any model under X amount but if you get a model over X amount there is no delivery charge.

And so I looked at cheapest model differently. You only cost $248 +, but then I have to add $59 onto that and if I am prepared to spend $307+, I might as well be looking at the $317+ model but then I have to add on $59 to that one to and if I am prepared to spend $376+ for a washer I should just suck it up and really look at the one that only costs $20 more and has no delivery charge, I will be getting $398 worth of machine, exactly what I paid for.. I am aware my logic is faulty. I am also aware that I did exactly what the store wanted me to do and is why they jack up the price of the cheaper models with the delivery fee in the first place. Store - 1 Me- 0 .

I also started to look at the machines energy star ratings. And I became very depressed. The cheapest model used a lot more energy, the second cheapest used even more and the most expensive model was the most efficient. But only barely. The ratings are from 113 on one end to 560 on the other. The cheapo ( see how I disparate it now?) Was around 389, the middle model was 423 and the most expensive was 336. And now I’m really freaking out.

The cheap one will cost be more in the long run, but, my bank balance is all about the short run and living in the now. My budget is finite. The machine won’t live forever but the old machine was a pretty good model in its day and it lived 15 years. El Cheapo was very well rated by consumer reports. So it could live indefinitely. It would cost me money and kill the environment for a very long time.

Obliviously, it took a long time for someone to come and assist me. I let El Cheap go and turned my back on the middle model - same story, same verses, same problems.

That left the Expensive One.

I went to go find someone to take my order. They took my order and asked when I wanted it. I said, “Um. Soon?” I was settling here, spending more than I had planed on a machine that I really wasn’t in love with... I wanted my machine now-er then later-er.

Them - So, when do you want delivery?

Me - I work, it would have to be after 5pm.

Them - We can do that! We deliver until 8pm! How would Monday be?

Me - It’s not Sunday, but I can do that.

Them - Okay! Oh. We don’t have anybody working Monday night...

And so my sales person began a very long phone discussion with some guy. It went on and on and on and they didn't have anyone Tuesday, Wednesday or Friday either. I was about to say, you know what? I’ll go to another store. And then my sales person got off the phone.

Them - The model you want is all ready sold. Let me tap furiously at my computer. I can see if we can ISP one for you from another store.

Me - That’s fine.

She called the guy back. He told her they couldn’t do it, He told her to check the next model up. I got excited thinking Upgrade City!

Them - Lets see if it’s in! $498!!

Me - No can do. Lets see what else you have. Oh, look $215.

Them - Oh.

She calls back to the guy and tells him I’m going with the $215. He is unhappy about this.

We looked around a little more. . We looked at the super efficient front loader of my dreams. $498.

Me - I like this one. You know, I would take this one for the price of my one true love over there that you don’t have in stock and that you promised me and that I need right now and that you can’t deliver right now and I’ve been standing here for days.

Them - Lets see.

She made a call. She made a sale. Them -1 Me 1.

I got a $500 front loader for the price of a standard machine. I was so overjoyed I told them they could delivery any time they wanted to! Front Loader! 113!! $398!!! Free delivery! Free Haul Away! It won’t be delivered until next Saturday. Them kinda 2 Me - 1, but still! the super efficient front loader of my dreams!!