Walking

I just realized that Dogger and I haven't been to the park since last Friday. Wow. I’m doing this Crop walk thing through downtown on Saturday and I want to bring Dogger but I’m now afraid after spending a few days laying around that she might not have the stamina to do the three miles. And her collar is no longer cute. She’s very vain about it. It may be a problem.

I didn’t know that the Crop walk thing was a sponsored thing. I thought I would just show up and represent. In real life its like a dance off or something. I supposed to get sponsors! They gave me this sign up sheet thing and an envelope to put the cash in. I looked at that said There is no way. I’m going to write my self a check. I thought about making up some names and then putting some fives in the thing and turning the whole mess in, but then I thought that, maybe, people who are not me, may think that was weird. Or fraudulent, because it would have to be more than just their names. I would have to come up with addresses and phone numbers and it would just totally snowball and I would end up on a stage wearing a tiara and covered with pigs blood.

I’m just going to write a modest check and seal the envelope and keep moving.

The last time I was at the park I was talking to this woman with three Great Danes and a standard poodle and I was asking her all these questions about the Danes. Like do they like hiking and where do they stand on swimming? She told me it depends, one of her Danes hates the water, but one of the other ones, loves it and she even has pictures of it cavorting in the ocean with dolphins! Dogger has never been to the ocean and I’m pretty sure that dolphins would scare her. I just feel really drawn to the breed. And even better? They invented one that looks just like a super sized Weimaraner! The Dane downside would be that they go from neonate to geriatric in less time than it takes other breeds to get potty trained.

I really want one. I mean of course, not now, Dogger is all the dog I need or even want, right now, I mean can you imagine big, giant Dogger and an even larger dog? Doggest! I would have both Dogger and Doggest!... I’m such a completest though I would have to go out and get a mid-sized breed so I could have the whole set Dog, Dogger and Doggest. I think that might be more than I could handle. But then I think about the lady at the park and her pack of dogs and she seems okay, she seems retired as well, so maybe it’s a mitigating factor.

If Dogger engenders out right fear in people we meet on our walks, can you imagine the terror-stricken reaction a full grown Dane would get? My God. It would be the biggest pit bull they ever saw. Around here all dogs are either pits or rots or rot-pits or pit-rots. There is one guy who has like four chiwawa, but he’s new to the area.

I don’t know why I’m thinking about this. I’m pretty sure that Dogger knows about it and I think she got sick as a way of drawing us together or as a way to exert her dominance over me and reminding me who the big dog in our relationship is. I have to be honest, one of us is pretty much a 14 inch beagle and one of us could pull a truck. But at the same time, only one of us could drive that truck and I am still taller than she is. I also have a much higher limit on my Visa than she has on hers. I could totally buy a Viking stove on credit and she could probably get a hot plate. So I win. And I love her, so she kind of wins too.