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Of the many things that happened on Friday, not the least was my discovery that the battery of the kitchen cordless had died. Do ya’ll remember when I got that phone? Yeah, me either. Take for granted that it has been awhile. Years at least.

The last time I had to buy a battery for a phone I took the battery to Circuit City, stood in front of their massive wall o’ batteries and found my replacement - was horrified at the cost and went with the much cheaper alternative, I bought a new phone.

Today the wall o’ batteries at Circuit City has been replaced with a selection of seven different kinds batteries, three unavailable. None of which was mine because I apparently bought my phone during the paleolithic. I wasn’t going to give up. I went to Best Buy then Target. The selections were not as vast as what was offered at Circuit City. All three places told me to go to Radio Shack. I hate Radio Shack and decided I would just go buy a new phone rather then spend anytime or money at Radio Shite.. I found a phone I liked once, I would be able to find one I liked again. How hard could it be to find an ecru phone?

I was able to find a phone then. That was then. Today you can’t just buy a phone. You have to buy four phones or you have to buy an answering machine and three phones. You can buy a single phone but it will be the wrong color. It takes a village to use all the phones that come with the right phone. I am a single person, I live by myself I do not need four phones.

I need my four TVs but that is irrelevant.

But why now? Why did it die now? It’s had years to die. It shouldn’t have lived this long but why now. I drove around a lot trying to find a new battery and then I decided I needed to go home. I had enough disappointment. There is no such thing as a truly cordless phone. With no cord you have no power. Power is good. I took a closer look at my phone. Where was my cord? I checked to see if it was plugged in, yes it was. At one end. How did my phone get unplugged? When did this happen? I thought about this for a day and then I started to notice that The Kitty’s bowl was quite empty quite often. I smelled a dog.

Dogger was eating The Kitty’s food and messing with my phone. My perfectly serviceable, working phone. It turns out my phone works best when it is PLUGGED IN. I put the battery back and waited for it to charge. Today, my phone works just fine. Dogger is lucky she’s so cute.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Garden Update!

I’m so excited! My garden is doing something! I looked at it after work and found tiny fetal nubs! Oh! So Excited!!




Oh, and when I was driving around Sunday? I saw an elephant.



You know the advertising saw “Not your Fathers blah?” I found your Grandfathers' Circus, a small tent in the middle of a dusty lot. Surely, one of the last independent circuses in America. Perhaps the last, best, show on earth. One ring, one elephant, three por-o-lets.