What’s eating Tommy Tomato?!

I was inspecting the garden after work today and I noticed that the tomato plant of smaller tomatoes was either getting woody or was growing thorns. And I said “Tomatoes grow thorns?”

No, No they do not.

I was shocked to say the least. I don’t remember seeing this tomato cancer destroying my plant the last time I was hanging out with them, say, yesterday but yesterday when I was looking at them, I was looking at them from the other side of the fence and  I was concentrating on tying up and securing the upper branches and not paying any attention the base and attention must be paid.

In retrospect, I’m always kind of concentrating on the branches and the tomatoes that hang from them and neglecting the parts that don't have tomatoes hanging from them . If I took a more holistic view of my plants health and well being, I might have caught whatever is attacking my plant sooner, before it had Stage IV tomato cancer.

But, but, they don’t look under attack. They look fine and they are growing taller and greener and making more and more nubs every day. They don’t seem sick - But they quite obviously are. Now I’m worried about my other plants and a quick inspection didn’t turn up any other instabark issues but who knows there could be all kinds of evils hiding just under the surface waiting to spring out like the alien in Aliens. I’m totally blaming the squash for this, I don’t know why but they suck but this must be their fault.

I think now that I should have never stopped my regular poisoning schedule. I poisoned frequently at the beginning but once their leaves aged out of the tender, sexy stage I kind of stopped poisoning and started thinking surrender monkey organic gardening thoughts and now my plant is hosting a million nutrient sucking hitchhikers.

And the worst hasn’t even started yet as the little bastards aren’t even hatched yet. The plant is thriving, despite being sucked on by a million tiny nutrient hungry beasties and it gets taller and greener and more productive everyday, all the better to feed the little beasties... The leaves are green there isn’t any wilting and it’s able to support and nourish it’s off spring plus a million little beasties. I see wilting and yellowing and failure to thrive in its future,; Oh and Tipping over! I see tipping over in it’s future and all the little beasties jumping ship to my other plants and crossing over to the neighbors and then taking over the street and pretty soon everything in Raleigh will be dead and it will be my fault the squashes fault.

It finally got around to the plant gawds that I was trying to grow things again and they hate that. I am not allowed to grow nice things and I believe this tomato cancer is retribution from the plant gawds for the happy flowers I have in the front of the house in pots - Maybe that’s what I did wrong! I disturbed the earth and pissed off some long undisturbed dirt deity and now I am paying for interrupting it's beauty sleep.