Wednesday, February 18, 2009


Monday I had two run in’s with people of questionable mental hygiene and neither of them were on Dix Campus . That’s what happens when you cut mental health funding, you go from contained mentally ill people to free range crazies - It’s clearly the best solution for everyone.

Blergh. The first time was in the Sam’s parking lot. I was in my car innocently digging around in my purse looking for my Sam’s card, which was not there because it was at home, upstairs in a shirt pocket, but I didn’t know that yet so I was digging around in the purse and I hear this scritch, scritch, scritch noise outside the car and so I look out the window and there is the little, hunched over old man trying to force his basket between our cars.

There was enough space for a person to walk comfortably between the vehicles, you could open your door most of the way but you could not fit a grocery cart and this guy was trying to fit a grocery cart! That scritching noise was my paint .screaming as it fell to the ground. And he was just shuffling along, scratching my paint as he went and he didn’t stop until I banged on my window and alerted him that the car was not empty and I did notice what he was doing. I would have gotten out of the car but he was a thousand years old and looked like Humpty Dumpty. Life was hard enough for him all ready.

I drove off thinking uncharitable thoughts about him and went to this Subway to get a sandwich - Where I stood in line for about forever because this Russian guy treated every sandwich like a freaking art project and I was like Ivan! Comrade! Buddy! Here we do not like standing in line! This is not a form of entertainment! Capitalist Running Dogs need to run! Finally, I got my lunch and I sat down to read my book. Fine. Lunch at last.

And then I go out to my car and there is another crazy person too close to my car. This time I go woman-a -o-mano. I approach the car, keys at the ready - I could open my car door or turn him into a human strainer, its up to him. He starts his patter Ma’m do you...,. He could have just sized up the situation, noticed the smoke coming out of my ears, and choose to leave quietly. I cut him off, sadly, he had taken the “Stab Me” option. I cut him off, Iain'tgotnomoney. and I motioned him to get away from my car. He says, really kind of snippy, "Oh. Am I in your way?" and I’m like Dude. No you didn’t! Don’t make me cut a bitch! This is the murder Subway! A woman was murdered here not that long ago. I’ve had a bad hour and I didn’t kill the other guys but you on the other hand, got lippy with me... and he wised up and went to go visit with the dumpster...

You know its not a good day when if left to my own devises I would have killed three people just over my lunch hour.

No comments: