Wednesday, March 4, 2009


I was making dinner, an oh-so-food-like hamburger helper variety. The upside being that I now know what beige tastes like and who hasn't spent a lifetime wanting to know what beige tastes like... Answer? beige tastes like Hamburger Helper Stroganoff. In the stroganoffs defence I used ground chicken instead of ground beef and maybe that would have taken it up a notch or two from beige to say, violet? I'm kind of thinking though that I could have dumped all the curry powder in the world into the pot and it still would have stayed resolutely in the earth-tones.

While I was slaving over the stove, I noticed that I was swallowing. Hmm. I just swallowed. There, I did it again. Oh. And there I got again and it hurts. How often do you think about swallowing? You don't. You don't think about it. You could swallow all day and never think about it once. Until it hurt and then you can't really think about anything else. So now I'm like swallowing all the time! I keep thinking maybe if I just do this a lot, eventually it will magically not hurt, it just needs to be lubricated.Yeah right. I  hunted down a working flashlight and went spelunking, Yep, just as I feared and expected. Bright red and inflamed. Little spotty things? Hard too tell and maybe too early. The good news is that despite the fact I just finished a tome on the killer flu of 1918, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to die.

I took a helping of the Helper and decided that maybe I wasn't as hungry as I thought I was. I decided what I really wanted was warm tea. Lots and lots of tea. But tea wasn't enough. I needed honey - Which I had, as a solid because my kitchen is completely uninsulated. Solid honey is not a good thing. But, like Martha, I did not panic in the face of unpleasantness, I filled a measuring cup with hot water and gave my honey a soothing bath. I soothed it so that it would soothe me. That was the plan

And it was a good plan... For about as long as it took me to drink my tea. This was nice but I can't spend the evening nipping away on tea. So, I shifted to warm water and honey. Num. Num. Not. Which is why Gawd created  Chloraseptic, even closer to the Not then the Num, but at 3am taste is the last thing I'm thinking about when all I can think about is how much my throat hurts. The good thing as that this too shall pass, and in a couple of days I'll develop a full blown cold and probably start to re-read  the more lurid sections of my flu tome and I'll wish my only problem was a Chloraseptic dependency.



Granny said...

Little guy's getting chubbie!

LizardBreath said...

Little Austin is making up for being a little thing when he was born. Such a cutie!