Getting the job done

There are all these things I should be doing right now. Things that I have spent the last few weeks putting off until right now telling myself that I would do those things closer to when I was leaving.

For instance. I put off cleaning the house until now because if I had cleaned it too early it would just be back to being dirty again by now, and I put off gathering the non-clothing related stuff I want/need to take with me because I am a pressure player. I can’t get away from it all without taking it all with me. I’m up and down every ten minutes because I think to myself Oh! I need to take X with me! but while I am tracking down XYZ thing because I haven’t even thought about XYZ thing in months and I have no idea where XYZ is but I know once I go on vacation I’m going to use XYZ thing every day and won’t be able to enjoy myself if I don’t have it, despite the fact I have not used XYZ thing in months while I was living under the same roof with it. And then while I am searching for XYZ thing I find AAA thing and I decided that AAA thing definitely needs to go because you know, what is vacation without AAA thing and here it is and wow! Its so great I ran across it and that of course leads me to this other thing that if I have AAA I must bring as well....

And I end up in a pile of these things and now I am buried under things and I am completely off the rails and then I decide that maybe I should think about what I’m going to wear to work tomorrow and I go off and do that which brings me back to XYZ thing.

I just spin around. I do a lot of spinning...

But not much cleaning, which I really need to do because the house looks like it’s been hit by a tornado and then we have the bug bodies scattered around - Tiny is a hunter! Well, actually, Tiny is a torturer, I am the one who kills them so there are all these squished bug bodies around because some how I think that if the bugs see all these bug bodies around that they will get frightened and go away. Bugs understand object lessons, because bugs have The Sopranos on DVD back at Bug HQ.

I scream every time I kill a bug and I would think that all that screaming would make them not want to hang out here. I mean, how many bugs do I have to successfully kill before I can stop screaming while I do it? I see a bug and then I scream like a banshee until I find something to kill it with, the other night I used the dogs bowl , but it is a little ridge around the bottom so it wouldn’t squish it with its full weight, the bug kind of was trapped under it, which is a win for the bug and a loose for me so I had scream some more at the bug, perhaps to jam its sonar or whatever they use instead of brains- I had to roll the bowl over the bug to finally kill it and all the time I standing their squealing like I was not 11,000 times the size of this bug. I have to scream.

I don’t know what would do if something bigger came along, a mouse or a rat. I don’t see me  being able to squishing-and-scream my way through it,  and I don’t think the dogs bowl would do it unless I used it to bludgeon the mouse and that sounds even messier than squishing, I think I would use the bowl to trap the mouse and then, you know, flee the house and I would have to worry about how dirty it was or how much work I had to yet to do because you know, I had to flee and that’s like a get-out-of-housework-free card.