Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Life's Little Mysteries

How many cockroaches do you have to run across before you stop screaming like a girl? I mean they aren't armed, no cockroach has ever stolen the silver and  than pistol whipped the homeowner. They are dirty, ugly, disease spreading uck but they aren't going to hurt me. I of course shriek and hop around whenever I see one. I am also always without anything to kill them with.

I have to scream and hop and then run from the room to search for an appropriate  weapon - this time it was the dogs' kong toy - usually I am looking for a good sized shoe or other crushing instrument and I can never find one. Ever. Not one time. I am forced to use rolled up magazines, rolled up towels, books, canned food, dog toys - Anything to make it die now , while I am screaming and hopping.

I am hopeing that some day I might be able to dispatch them without the hopping. I feel good about the screaming.

Today, before the screaming and hopping, I did something I had been wanting to do since, at least late last week: I cleaned out my entryway closet!  I put things in there  to get them out of the way the day I moved in and then I stopped thinking about them. I originally planned to go spelunking over the weekend but I got too busy with the fair going and cookie making.

I started thinking about it getting cold and having to go into the closet to fetch coats and gloves and scarves and all that and how going into that closet is not my most favorite thing. I was also afraid that Tiny would accidentally get into that closet and never come out. I felt stupid about having fear issues about a closet that did not include monsters but  that there was something worse than a kitten eating monster, my fear was that there was a kitten eating cockroach hiding in the nest of extension cords, off season wreaths, baseball hats and six year old yellow pages that lived there.


before

I pulled out all the stuff on the floor and on the shelf. I decided to leave the hanging coats where they were because that isn't much I can do to make that better. I could I suppose, dust the shoulders or something but I don't care that much. I wanted to get it cleaned out not sterilized.

During the cleaning I found all kinds of things : Doggers very first baby puppy leash (snapped and knotted back together), a can light, two wreaths, a box of exterior extension cords,  four pairs of mismatched shoes, two American flags, three baseball hats, a box of clothes set to  have been given away in fall of 2002, three detached hoods and  a torn rain coat. And about fifteen pairs of gloves.

And no cockroaches! Kitten eating or otherwise.

 I am happy to report that all my coat pockets are now loaded  with gloves. I went through all those pockets and didn't find any money, I did however find a few plastic dog walking bags so it came out was kind of even in my mind. Those bags are like gold to me.



after

Next on my agenda? The closet in the office. It's been trying to pretend its not there but I see it there, all stuffed full of  stupid, space wasting crap that needs to be thrown or given away. I'm coming for you office closet. Me and You closet. Two hits, I hit you and you hit the ground, and that weired pointing at my eyes and at your eyes hand gesture thing.

3 comments:

Tiffany said...

Please to be doing mine as well.

Unknown said...

I'll get to yours when I finish mine!

Anonymous close relative said...

I have been offering to "do closets" with you for YEARS! The offer still stands!