Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

I have been a very good dog these last few quarters.  I hardly pulled anything off the top of the tables at all this fiscal year!  I didn't mistakenly kill that many things that I reasonably thought might conceivably  be dog toys  but weren't. I want it noted that during the first and second quarters I did a very good job differentiating between things that looked like dog toys and things that were not dog toys at all -  but, sadly,  when I was unable to make that distinction, most regrettably during the third quarter, I want it noted that I gave them back almost as soon as I realized there was a problem.  I didn't make Mama shout hardly ever and I only made her cry once or twice.

I was very nice to the new not dog thing that came to live with us. I'm not sure what happened to the other not dog thing but it went away and hasn't come back. The new not dog walks past me every day and doesn't swat at me or hiss at me or say nasty things to me.  I like the new not dog thing. Please bring the new not dog thing a kong toy. A very small kong toy for a very small not dog thing. If this is not what the not dog thing wants, I'm sorry but I'm not sure what not dog things ask for from Santa but please bring it its own futon and its own water dish. It must not have its own because it uses mine. its not that I mind sharing because I love to share, but perhaps it might like its own very small futon and very small water dish. Its just a suggestion.

I've been very good this year because I haven't had much of a chance to be bad.  But if I had had the chance to be bad I most certainly would not have been bad because I am a good dog.

Santa please bring me the following:

1. More rugs. I love rugs. Rugs are my friends. I hate bare floors and they are slippy and make me scared. I can't walk on bare floors. Please bring more rugs! Carpet the world.

2. I lay on my futon and look out my window all the time. I want a bigger window.

3. I also want a padded window seat so I can have a better view.

4. Bones. Please go to the grocery store and get me more bones! I like the medium sized ones and not the fake bones. Fake bones make me vomit.

5. Squeaky toys! I love squeaky toys!

6. Kong Toys! Kong Toys! Kong Toys!

7. Baby leg warmers. My knees get sore when its cold. I want warmer knees.

8. Fancy dog shampoo! Mama's  shampoo is nice but it smells like petrochemicals and I am sensitive.

  Love,

Dogger

PS. Forget all of the above. Please bring me strong knees. All I really want for Christmas is to run again.