Wednesday, February 3, 2010

And the Oscar(tm) nominees are...

Blogger.com  requires that I have an entry dedicated to awards and award nominations. Its a rule hidden in the boiler plate in the Terms of Service.

Best Picture

"Avatar" -  No.

"The Hurt Locker" - When I first saw the ads for it I thought it was a video game. No. Go female director but, sorry, you directed something that looks like a video game.

"Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire" - They couldn't just call it "Precious" or "Push"?. No.

"Up in the Air" -  This looks good. I will Netflix it. It seems approachable and inviting. George Clooney! Squueee!

"Inglourious Basterds" - Its spelled wrong on purpose. HATE.

"Up" -  The only one I have actually seen.

"The Blind Side" - AKA "The White Woman's Burden". A jumped up Lifetime movie.

"District 9" - Another video game. No.

"An Education" - Very serious, no doubt very high quality. A Master Piece Theatre movie. Too British. No one has seen this movie. Will never come to Raleigh.

"A Serious Man" - Very Serious, no doubt high quality. Another MPT movie. Too British, No one has seen this movie. Will never come to Raleigh.


Best Actor
George Clooney, "Up in the Air" - Sigh. I lurve him.
Jeff Bridges, "Crazy Heart" -  I heard this described as The Wrestler with guitars.
Colin Firth, "A Single Man" - They invented BAFTAs for this reason.
Morgan Freeman, "Invictus" -  Freeman  leads another troubled white kid to glory. Isn't Freeman tired of this part? Biofic notwithstanding, really? Nelson Mandela as troubled white kid rehabilitator?
Jeremy Renner, "The Hurt Locker" -  He acted in a video game.

Best Actress
Meryl Streep, "Julie & Julia" -  I saw this one. She wins by default.
Sandra Bullock, "The Blind Side" -  Lifetime Movie/White Woman's Burden.
Gabourey Sidibe, "Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire" - Yeah. No.
Helen Mirren, "The Last Station" -  BAFTA
Carey Mulligan, "An Education" - No one has seen this movie and it will never come to Raleigh.

Supporting actor
Matt Damon, "Invictus" - The 43rd troubled white kid lead to greatness by Morgan Freeman.
Woody Harrelson, "The Messenger" - Whatever.
Christopher Plummer, "The Last Station"  BAFTA
Stanley Tucci, "The Lovely Bones" - I am troubled by his wig.
Christoph Waltz, "Inglourious Basterds" -  The guy who is going to win.

Supporting actress
Vera Farmiga, "Up in the Air" - Cloony has a lot of friends in the Academy.
Mo'Nique, "Precious" - You have a last name, you aren't playing on UPN anymore.
Anna Kendrick, "Up in the Air" - Cloony has a lot of friends in the Academy
Penelope Cruz, "Nine" -"And I'll be waiting here with my legs open!"
Maggie Gyllenhaal, "Crazy Heart" -  The hipster next door, an unmade bed, Whatever.

Director
Quentin Tarantino, "Inglourious Basterds" - I hate him?
Kathryn Bigelow, "The Hurt Locker" - Go my sister! Make a movie that is not a video game!
James Cameron, "Avatar" - I hate him?
Lee Daniels, "Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire" - I don't care.
Jason Reitman, "Up in the Air" - I'd like it if he won.

Animated feature - I saw Up, but I would like to see FMF. Up going to win.
"Up"
"Coraline"
"Fantastic Mr. Fox"
"The Princess and the Frog"
"The Secret of Kells"

Original screenplay/Adapted screenplay/Best foreign-language film/art direction

Best documentary feature - I vote for the Pentagon Papers, because I like history but if any of them are Holocaust pictures, its game over.
"Burma VJ"
"The Cove"
"Food, Inc."
"The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers"
"Which Way Home"

Cinematography - Hey! I've seen three of the nominated films! Go Harry Potter!
"Avatar"
"Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince"
"The Hurt Locker"
"Inglourious Basterds"
"The White Ribbon"

1 comment:

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