Wag the dog

I was sitting at the dining room table saying to myself Hmm. it sure we would be nice if I could see this 30 Rock rerun better. I should  move the TV when I realized, I don't need to move the TV I can move to the TV! So I did!

And that was the best part of my day. I couldn't even have lunch in peace! I drove into "my" parking lot and I saw this youngish guy walking from the gazebo and he looked odd - odd because even at a distance I was pretty sure his penis was on the wrong side of his pants.

I decided that I was not seeing his penis, I decided I was seeing a fold in his shirt, because it could have been a penis shaped fold.  I made sure my doors were locked and tucked into my book.

Read, read, read, gnaw on protean bar. Watch guy flit around the parking lot like a giant moth. Read, flit, gnaw, flit. He started to flit closer to my car. I studiously read my book.  He flitted,  I gnawed my protean bar.

He laid down next to my car. I read my book like a son-of-a-bitch and then he knocked on my passenger side window and I screamed like a girl.

He apologized profusely but I think he probably liked it. He than asked where the movie theatre on Western was. Yes, I am stupid, this is veering dangerously close to the Can I Borrow A Spoon debacle of a few years ago. I gave him directions and went back to my book.

And then he was at my other window and his dick was hanging out.  I told him to put his thing away and he said he didn't have is thing out, which was odd because he had to move it out of the way to illustrate to me that it was  not out.

I pulled out of the lot and did not run him over. I bet I could have it had occurred to me at the time. Instead I was thinking Ahhhhhhhh Penis!

And then I went back to work .I decided since I wasn't hurt or scared, it wasn't important. A couple of hours later started thinking that he may of flashed other people who potentially could be hurt or scared by his wagging.  I should have called immediately, I did call, hours later and was told that some one had all ready reported a "suspicious" man on campus but the other caller hadn't gone into detail about what she saw and she refused to identify her self or make out a report. I gave them chapter and verse and wasn't shy about giving them everything short of my Mothers maiden name and then I submitted to a lecture about letting the police decide what is and is not important

Weenie Wagger wagged  his weenie one to many times.