GM givith...
GM employee discounts to all?
Report says automaker to extend its company discount program to the general public in June.
NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - General Motors could raise the incentive to the general public in line with the discounts it offers its own employees, according to a published report.
here
and GM taketh away...
WILMINGTON, Del. - General Motors Corp. plans to eliminate 25,000 jobs in the United States by 2008 and close plants as part of a strategy to revive North American business at the world's largest automaker, its chairman said on Tuesday.
here
Why not? when so many of their employees are going to be the "general public" soon anyway.
Tuesday, June 7, 2005
To A/C or not to A/C
I found this “meowmo” over the weekend. It read:
Dear Feeder,
We’re Hot.
Love,
The Pets
The minutes from the family meeting follow.
Me - Yeah. You’re hott. Totally. I expect whatever Olsen twin that still has the strength to walk and Lindsey Lohan and maybe, Paris Hilton to show up any day and take you away from all this. They won’t feed you and they’ll force you to live in a handbag Dogger, but if you’re so “hot” it may be worth the trouble. I hear their SUVS have air conditioning. Sadly, they are not coming to your rescue. It’s not going to happen. In theory one of you could figure out how to turn the A/C on by yourself but frontal lobe and opposable thumb issues aside, ain’t neither of ya’ll tall enough to reach it.
Dogger - I’m tall enough.
Me – Good for you. Where is the A/C control?
Dogger – Uh…
Me – Hint, it’s not located on a table top nor do I have it in my pocket.
Dogger – Then I don’t know where it is. Look, I’m panting! I’m soooooo hot! Look at the suffering Dogger! I’m sooooo hot! Pant! pant!pant!pant!
Kitty – I’m hot too! Look at me panting! Think of anything more pathetic than a cat panting! Stop twirling Dogger! You’re getting dog spit all over the floor! Gawd, you’re like a sprinkler in here! You’re hot. We. Get. It.
Dogger – You’re hot too.
Kitty – But with 85 percent less drool. Sit down and shut up.
Me – I agree. It is hot. Hotness has landed. The house is hot. It is hot outside. The house also has three ceiling fans and multiple floor fans plus many windows. Dogger, you have both a ceiling fan and a floor fan and an open window at your disposal all ready. You need to shut up .
Kitty – You could have a floor fan, you have another one.
Me – That’s right Kitty, I could but I don’t. Does any one know why?
Kitty – Because you’re stupid?
Dogger – Because you don’t know where it is?
Me – Bweeeeeeeep. Wrong answer. You are both wrong, and Kitty, I want to see you after the meeting. No. I am not stupid and I do know where the fan is.
Dogger – Where is it then?
Me – It’s upstairs.
Kitty – In the hot.
Dogger – Does the upstairs need its own fan?
Kitty – The upstairs needs its own ice age.
Me – Says the guy who goes up there on purpose!
Dogger – I want to go upstairs!
Kitty – No! Its mine! The upstairs is mine!
Me – The upstairs? Technically? Mine. The fan is upstairs and I have not found the need to go bring it downstairs. It’s not that hot yet.
Kitty – Yet? You are comfortable with your use of “yet”! Its a thousand degrees in here! We’re dieing.
Dogger – We can’t sweat!
Me – Thank Gawd.
Kitty – We have all this fur!
Dogger – Huge amounts of fur!
Me – I know and it’s all over. You shed. A lot. There is “all this fur” all over my house and car. I’m surprised neither of you is bald yet.
Kitty – I’m a little bald.
Me – We are not thinking about that! We are over looking that! You are not balding. You have that hair picking disorder thing! The A/C is not going on. Yet.
Kitty and Dogger – WHEN.
Me – When I am hot.
Kitty and Dogger – YOU HAVE NO FUR! You can sweat!
Me – Human!
Kitty and Dogger – Species-ist!
Talks subsequently broke down. Once you pull the species-ist card its time to go to your corners.
I found this “meowmo” over the weekend. It read:
Dear Feeder,
We’re Hot.
Love,
The Pets
The minutes from the family meeting follow.
Me - Yeah. You’re hott. Totally. I expect whatever Olsen twin that still has the strength to walk and Lindsey Lohan and maybe, Paris Hilton to show up any day and take you away from all this. They won’t feed you and they’ll force you to live in a handbag Dogger, but if you’re so “hot” it may be worth the trouble. I hear their SUVS have air conditioning. Sadly, they are not coming to your rescue. It’s not going to happen. In theory one of you could figure out how to turn the A/C on by yourself but frontal lobe and opposable thumb issues aside, ain’t neither of ya’ll tall enough to reach it.
Dogger - I’m tall enough.
Me – Good for you. Where is the A/C control?
Dogger – Uh…
Me – Hint, it’s not located on a table top nor do I have it in my pocket.
Dogger – Then I don’t know where it is. Look, I’m panting! I’m soooooo hot! Look at the suffering Dogger! I’m sooooo hot! Pant! pant!pant!pant!
Kitty – I’m hot too! Look at me panting! Think of anything more pathetic than a cat panting! Stop twirling Dogger! You’re getting dog spit all over the floor! Gawd, you’re like a sprinkler in here! You’re hot. We. Get. It.
Dogger – You’re hot too.
Kitty – But with 85 percent less drool. Sit down and shut up.
Me – I agree. It is hot. Hotness has landed. The house is hot. It is hot outside. The house also has three ceiling fans and multiple floor fans plus many windows. Dogger, you have both a ceiling fan and a floor fan and an open window at your disposal all ready. You need to shut up .
Kitty – You could have a floor fan, you have another one.
Me – That’s right Kitty, I could but I don’t. Does any one know why?
Kitty – Because you’re stupid?
Dogger – Because you don’t know where it is?
Me – Bweeeeeeeep. Wrong answer. You are both wrong, and Kitty, I want to see you after the meeting. No. I am not stupid and I do know where the fan is.
Dogger – Where is it then?
Me – It’s upstairs.
Kitty – In the hot.
Dogger – Does the upstairs need its own fan?
Kitty – The upstairs needs its own ice age.
Me – Says the guy who goes up there on purpose!
Dogger – I want to go upstairs!
Kitty – No! Its mine! The upstairs is mine!
Me – The upstairs? Technically? Mine. The fan is upstairs and I have not found the need to go bring it downstairs. It’s not that hot yet.
Kitty – Yet? You are comfortable with your use of “yet”! Its a thousand degrees in here! We’re dieing.
Dogger – We can’t sweat!
Me – Thank Gawd.
Kitty – We have all this fur!
Dogger – Huge amounts of fur!
Me – I know and it’s all over. You shed. A lot. There is “all this fur” all over my house and car. I’m surprised neither of you is bald yet.
Kitty – I’m a little bald.
Me – We are not thinking about that! We are over looking that! You are not balding. You have that hair picking disorder thing! The A/C is not going on. Yet.
Kitty and Dogger – WHEN.
Me – When I am hot.
Kitty and Dogger – YOU HAVE NO FUR! You can sweat!
Me – Human!
Kitty and Dogger – Species-ist!
Talks subsequently broke down. Once you pull the species-ist card its time to go to your corners.
Monday, June 6, 2005
Have Boogie Board will...
I wanted a boogie board. My first stop was my local Target. It’s a little high end for your garden variety shaped styrofoam toys, but it usually has a good selection of cheap seasonal goods and its not Wal-Mart. It was also not cheap. They had plenty of boogie boards, but these were for pro-boogie boarders and proto-surfers! I wasn’t looking to join the tour. I figured there was a Professional-Boogie Board conference in town and they had stocked up for that in case they got a hankering for a little off season lake boogie boarding, because what they had one hand were not meant for the non-serious once or twice a summer, amateur boogie boarders like me. These were for pro’s. I got discouraged and left.
In my memory, boogie boards were just shaped styrofoam, really just tarted up kick boards - also, in my memory, cheap tarted up kick boards. It turns out my memory is faulty or they last time I priced them I was at a going out of business boogie board sale or that in the land locked island nation of Dallas, Texas the market for them was a little less active then it is closer to the actual ocean.
The next time I was down near the beach I went to a Wal-Mart and went straight for the seasonal crap isle - fully expecting to find a nice, cheap styrofoam board. They didn’t have any nice, cheap shaped styrofoam boards! They had plenty of pricey shaped styrofoam boards! All they had were big, heavy, non-cheap, professional grade shaped styrofoam boards and they wanted big dollars for them! Even at freaking Wal-Mart! I was way out of my league and I hadn’t even signed up to play yet.
This was not looking good for me., but maybe I was looking too close to the water, and the people here were all long time boogie boarders and had all ready gone past the cheap shaped styrofoam board stage and needed these professional grade boards. I went to the kiddie swim toy isle, thinking that perhaps this was where they kept the cheap amateur grade boogie boards. No, not even there. These kids hadn’t used cheap armature grade boogie boards when they had surfed out of the womb.
I was not going to be denied. It was fall, I had all winter to find the elusive cheap boogie board of my memory.
The winter ended and the seasonal isles of my Poverty Barn finally were cleared of plastic Santas, paper-mache hearts and aluminum shamrocks - and were full of red, white and blue plastic margarita sets, el cheapo- guaranteed to shred in the first wind red, white and blue beach umbrellas and made in China red, white and blue flip flops. And, finally, cheap, non - read, white and blue, non-professional grade BOOGIE BOARDS!!!
And the crowd went wild!
I got my very own boogie board! It even comes with a very professional strap so that the board does not boogie with out me! And even more important, it matches my swim burka. I am good to go.
But.
How does one boogie board now that one has a boogie board? I mean, it’s really not like the tarted up kick boards of my youth. Time has marched on, things have changed... So, I went online. There aren’t many sites dedicated to boogie board education, proclivity for Boogie boarding is apparently something that is carried in the genes like eye color or model train lust. You are either born to boogie or you are not. Finally, I found
Boogie boarding do’s and don’ts . My hero.
Bottom line? Among many other Hot To suggestions, he says that, pretty much, it helps if you look good while boarding, and secondly, if the locals barely register the coming wave, you should get ready to boogie, if the locals are excited about a coming wave you should boogie to safety. I can do that.
I wanted a boogie board. My first stop was my local Target. It’s a little high end for your garden variety shaped styrofoam toys, but it usually has a good selection of cheap seasonal goods and its not Wal-Mart. It was also not cheap. They had plenty of boogie boards, but these were for pro-boogie boarders and proto-surfers! I wasn’t looking to join the tour. I figured there was a Professional-Boogie Board conference in town and they had stocked up for that in case they got a hankering for a little off season lake boogie boarding, because what they had one hand were not meant for the non-serious once or twice a summer, amateur boogie boarders like me. These were for pro’s. I got discouraged and left.
In my memory, boogie boards were just shaped styrofoam, really just tarted up kick boards - also, in my memory, cheap tarted up kick boards. It turns out my memory is faulty or they last time I priced them I was at a going out of business boogie board sale or that in the land locked island nation of Dallas, Texas the market for them was a little less active then it is closer to the actual ocean.
The next time I was down near the beach I went to a Wal-Mart and went straight for the seasonal crap isle - fully expecting to find a nice, cheap styrofoam board. They didn’t have any nice, cheap shaped styrofoam boards! They had plenty of pricey shaped styrofoam boards! All they had were big, heavy, non-cheap, professional grade shaped styrofoam boards and they wanted big dollars for them! Even at freaking Wal-Mart! I was way out of my league and I hadn’t even signed up to play yet.
This was not looking good for me., but maybe I was looking too close to the water, and the people here were all long time boogie boarders and had all ready gone past the cheap shaped styrofoam board stage and needed these professional grade boards. I went to the kiddie swim toy isle, thinking that perhaps this was where they kept the cheap amateur grade boogie boards. No, not even there. These kids hadn’t used cheap armature grade boogie boards when they had surfed out of the womb.
I was not going to be denied. It was fall, I had all winter to find the elusive cheap boogie board of my memory.
The winter ended and the seasonal isles of my Poverty Barn finally were cleared of plastic Santas, paper-mache hearts and aluminum shamrocks - and were full of red, white and blue plastic margarita sets, el cheapo- guaranteed to shred in the first wind red, white and blue beach umbrellas and made in China red, white and blue flip flops. And, finally, cheap, non - read, white and blue, non-professional grade BOOGIE BOARDS!!!
And the crowd went wild!
I got my very own boogie board! It even comes with a very professional strap so that the board does not boogie with out me! And even more important, it matches my swim burka. I am good to go.
But.
How does one boogie board now that one has a boogie board? I mean, it’s really not like the tarted up kick boards of my youth. Time has marched on, things have changed... So, I went online. There aren’t many sites dedicated to boogie board education, proclivity for Boogie boarding is apparently something that is carried in the genes like eye color or model train lust. You are either born to boogie or you are not. Finally, I found
Boogie boarding do’s and don’ts . My hero.
Bottom line? Among many other Hot To suggestions, he says that, pretty much, it helps if you look good while boarding, and secondly, if the locals barely register the coming wave, you should get ready to boogie, if the locals are excited about a coming wave you should boogie to safety. I can do that.
Sunday, June 5, 2005
Saturday, June 4, 2005
Friday, June 3, 2005
Dog Gone
If you were anywhere doing anything last night around 10 pm that did not include wandering around in the rain searching for a pet that was not yours – I don’t want to hear about it. Oh, and a neighbor accidentally set their house alarm off and couldn’t turn it off, so it was wailing for a good hour and even better? It took the cops 25 minutes to show up and investigate the house alarm. I felt very comforted by that.
It was time for Dogger to go out one more time before she went to bed. Actually, I had been listening to the house alarm wailing and I wanted to go see what the deal was but not in a rubber necker kind of way, a more casual way. A “I’m Just Out To Take The Dog For A Pee” way. I saw the neighbors car in the drive way and I could tell it was not an actual burglary kind of thing. It made me glad I didn’t call 911 – but as it turned out maybe I should have as it might have gotten them to the scene faster - 25 minutes! I mean, the hell?
Okay. I took Dogger out the front door and was greeted by the dog from across the street. I said “Hi Mike, hire yew” I tried to grab his collar, but it has gotten too small again and I couldn’t get a hand on it and then he ran away. I put Dogger back into the house and went after him. The neighbor with the house alarm saw me and wanted to chat. I should have told her to hold it - I was dog fetching, but I stopped and talked to her while trying to keep an eye on Mike – who promptly took cover of night and disappeared from view. Have I mentioned the rain? It’s still raining. I tried to follow Mike, but I lost him in the dark.
I went back to my house and took Dogger for her long delayed pee. She doesn’t like peeing in the rain and she makes us wander around. I decided that if she is going to wander around that we could wander around and look for Mike. I’ve been standing around in the rain all night and I’m not going to get more wet. We go and do check the near by busy street for any Mike shaped lumps in the street, we circled the block occasionally asking random people shaped forms in the dark if they have seen a big fluffy dog. They hadn’t. They were outside listening to the house alarm wailing. I go back to the house the dog got away from and read the Do You Know Your Dog Ran Off AGAIN!/Why Don’t You Take Better Care Of Your Dog?/ If I Find Him First I’m Going To Have A Talk With Your Mama!/ You Had Better Hope He Comes Back Home riot act to a kid on the porch because I’m pissed off because I’m the one out looking for his gawd damned dog! In the gawd damned rain! I’m pretty sure he really can’t hear me over the wailing of the neighbors house alarm.
I get back to the house and put the now dripping Dogger to bed. I have a few minutes before my rerun comes on and I go back into the dark. I ask more people also wandering around in the dark if they have seen the fluffy dog. More people have not seen the fluffy dog. The alarm is still wailing. I got tired of being soaked and my glasses got fogged. I go back again to Mikes house to admit defeat, and talk to a teen age girl outside yakking on her cell phone – while the alarm is still wailing. The cops are finally there. She agrees the dog is not at the house. I go home dripping and guilty and pissed off that Mike got away, from home and from me and I’m the only one who seems to care. I don’t know if he came home or not.
edited to add,Yay! he did.
If you were anywhere doing anything last night around 10 pm that did not include wandering around in the rain searching for a pet that was not yours – I don’t want to hear about it. Oh, and a neighbor accidentally set their house alarm off and couldn’t turn it off, so it was wailing for a good hour and even better? It took the cops 25 minutes to show up and investigate the house alarm. I felt very comforted by that.
It was time for Dogger to go out one more time before she went to bed. Actually, I had been listening to the house alarm wailing and I wanted to go see what the deal was but not in a rubber necker kind of way, a more casual way. A “I’m Just Out To Take The Dog For A Pee” way. I saw the neighbors car in the drive way and I could tell it was not an actual burglary kind of thing. It made me glad I didn’t call 911 – but as it turned out maybe I should have as it might have gotten them to the scene faster - 25 minutes! I mean, the hell?
Okay. I took Dogger out the front door and was greeted by the dog from across the street. I said “Hi Mike, hire yew” I tried to grab his collar, but it has gotten too small again and I couldn’t get a hand on it and then he ran away. I put Dogger back into the house and went after him. The neighbor with the house alarm saw me and wanted to chat. I should have told her to hold it - I was dog fetching, but I stopped and talked to her while trying to keep an eye on Mike – who promptly took cover of night and disappeared from view. Have I mentioned the rain? It’s still raining. I tried to follow Mike, but I lost him in the dark.
I went back to my house and took Dogger for her long delayed pee. She doesn’t like peeing in the rain and she makes us wander around. I decided that if she is going to wander around that we could wander around and look for Mike. I’ve been standing around in the rain all night and I’m not going to get more wet. We go and do check the near by busy street for any Mike shaped lumps in the street, we circled the block occasionally asking random people shaped forms in the dark if they have seen a big fluffy dog. They hadn’t. They were outside listening to the house alarm wailing. I go back to the house the dog got away from and read the Do You Know Your Dog Ran Off AGAIN!/Why Don’t You Take Better Care Of Your Dog?/ If I Find Him First I’m Going To Have A Talk With Your Mama!/ You Had Better Hope He Comes Back Home riot act to a kid on the porch because I’m pissed off because I’m the one out looking for his gawd damned dog! In the gawd damned rain! I’m pretty sure he really can’t hear me over the wailing of the neighbors house alarm.
I get back to the house and put the now dripping Dogger to bed. I have a few minutes before my rerun comes on and I go back into the dark. I ask more people also wandering around in the dark if they have seen the fluffy dog. More people have not seen the fluffy dog. The alarm is still wailing. I got tired of being soaked and my glasses got fogged. I go back again to Mikes house to admit defeat, and talk to a teen age girl outside yakking on her cell phone – while the alarm is still wailing. The cops are finally there. She agrees the dog is not at the house. I go home dripping and guilty and pissed off that Mike got away, from home and from me and I’m the only one who seems to care. I don’t know if he came home or not.
edited to add,Yay! he did.
Thursday, June 2, 2005
You want to know "what's the matter with Kansas?"
This is What's The Matter With Kansas:
"Quotes from Sen. Kay O'Connor, R-Olathe, a candidate for Kansas secretary of state, about women's suffrage:
Sept. 28, 2001:
"We have a society that does tear families apart ... I think the 19th Amendment, while it's not an evil in and of itself, is a symptom of something I don't approve of."
(The 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, ratified in 1920, gave women the right to vote nationwide.)
"The 19th Amendment is around because men weren't doing their jobs, and I think that's sad. I believe the man should be the head of the family. The woman should be the heart of the family.
"If I don't get re-elected, my only punishment is to go home to my husband and my roses and my children and my grandchildren ... And if the trips to Topeka get to be too much and my husband asks me to quit, I would."
Kansas Elected this woman! on purpose!
stolen from Jesus General
This is What's The Matter With Kansas:
"Quotes from Sen. Kay O'Connor, R-Olathe, a candidate for Kansas secretary of state, about women's suffrage:
Sept. 28, 2001:
"We have a society that does tear families apart ... I think the 19th Amendment, while it's not an evil in and of itself, is a symptom of something I don't approve of."
(The 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, ratified in 1920, gave women the right to vote nationwide.)
"The 19th Amendment is around because men weren't doing their jobs, and I think that's sad. I believe the man should be the head of the family. The woman should be the heart of the family.
"If I don't get re-elected, my only punishment is to go home to my husband and my roses and my children and my grandchildren ... And if the trips to Topeka get to be too much and my husband asks me to quit, I would."
Kansas Elected this woman! on purpose!
stolen from Jesus General
My head hurts
President Bush appeared with 20 Snowflakes families, kissing the babies, some of whom wore T-shirts that said "former embryo," or "this embryo was not discarded." Federal and state lawmakers have held similar appearances.
Randy and Julie McClure had three children who were long out of diapers and no plans for more when they heard about a program called Snowflakes, which arranges for women to become pregnant with embryos left over at fertility clinics.
"We really felt like the Lord was calling us to try to give one of these embryos, these children, a chance to live," Ms. McClure said.
Couples adopting or donating Snowflakes embryos are mostly Christian, and most embryo donors are white, Ms. Maze said. Some families are Roman Catholic, even though the church has historically opposed in vitro fertilization.
Couples must agree to adoption-like procedures: receiving families are screened and must undergo counseling, and Snowflakes allows donating and receiving families to designate criteria for each other, meet and maintain contact after birth. Adopting couples must agree not to abort any embryos.
Those conditions were fine with Bob and Angie Deacon of Virginia Beach, Va., who donated their 13 embryos after having twins and being discouraged from another pregnancy by a doctor. "With another program, to be honest with you, they could have been adopted by lesbian parents, and I'm totally against that," said Mr. Deacon, 35.
So pretty much as long as you are het, Khristian and voted Bush... but What if I'm het, Jewish and voted Bush?
Full Story Here
President Bush appeared with 20 Snowflakes families, kissing the babies, some of whom wore T-shirts that said "former embryo," or "this embryo was not discarded." Federal and state lawmakers have held similar appearances.
Randy and Julie McClure had three children who were long out of diapers and no plans for more when they heard about a program called Snowflakes, which arranges for women to become pregnant with embryos left over at fertility clinics.
"We really felt like the Lord was calling us to try to give one of these embryos, these children, a chance to live," Ms. McClure said.
Couples adopting or donating Snowflakes embryos are mostly Christian, and most embryo donors are white, Ms. Maze said. Some families are Roman Catholic, even though the church has historically opposed in vitro fertilization.
Couples must agree to adoption-like procedures: receiving families are screened and must undergo counseling, and Snowflakes allows donating and receiving families to designate criteria for each other, meet and maintain contact after birth. Adopting couples must agree not to abort any embryos.
Those conditions were fine with Bob and Angie Deacon of Virginia Beach, Va., who donated their 13 embryos after having twins and being discouraged from another pregnancy by a doctor. "With another program, to be honest with you, they could have been adopted by lesbian parents, and I'm totally against that," said Mr. Deacon, 35.
So pretty much as long as you are het, Khristian and voted Bush... but What if I'm het, Jewish and voted Bush?
Full Story Here
To Sleep, perchance, to stay that way
I don’t know what Kitty is going to do once Nephdog comes at the end of the month. He’s going to be staying with us for two weeks this time and Kitty is going to be unhappy. Having the other dog in the house really curtails his nightly tours. I think I’m going to move back upstairs while Nephdog is visiting because I think he’s the type to listen for people sounds and whine about it and my room is just down the hall from the room the office slash dog room. I would put the dogs upstairs and that was my original plan, but I just got that space all tided up and I don’t want to have it end up all doggy – that and if I’m the one staying up there I don’t have to run the window unit all day and all night.
I love my cat. I love Kitty so much that when he woke me up at 3am this morning I didn’t kill him! It didn’t even cross my mind until he woke me up again at 5:15 and 5:45! At that point I was thinking about what I need glove wise for the winter and how many I could make out of him - at 3 am, I’m not up to that much thought, what I was really thinking was “Feed Cat Now”, I didn’t get into much more detail until a quarter to six or so and then I was more awake and better able to tackle things like patterns and sizes and styles.
I got up at 3 to feed him because I didn’t want him to wake the Dogger up as well. Dogger has much bigger lungs and a larger library of available noises to make. Kitty doesn’t make a lot of noise himself but he can play the house like a piano, his big finish is to tip over the knife rack in the kitchen while he causes the salt and pepper shakers to tumble over and then he makes his move on the dishwashing detergent and my purse. Those together make a lovely crashing sound. I know he’s really annoyed with me since I straighten up the kitchen and took away some of his instruments he had been using to let me know he needed attention. I got rid of an old phone book he needed for slamming off the counter and I put away my George Foreman™ so he can’t make it make plastic sounds.
I know he’s pissed that I got rid of a lot of old magazines in the living room. He really enjoyed letting those slid to the floor and then shredding them. He must be upset about it but he hasn’t said anything about it to me but I think he’s still recovering for his 24 hour flu experience. I’m sure he’ll leave me a meowmo about it soon enough.
Because Kitty hasn’t slept well this week, neither have I. I would really like to go to sleep and stay that way but Kitty thinks we, as a household need to spend more time together and he’s made it his mission to bring us all together as much as he can whenever he can – anyway he can. I’ve read where cats sleep like 18-20 hours a day, so far I have not seen any conclusive evidents of this with Kitty. Kitty doesn’t sleep. Maybe this is what is wrong with Kitty! Maybe he just needs a good sleep aid! Maybe because he was separated from his mother cat too soon and he doesn’t know he’s supposed to sleep all the time? Maybe he needs a sleep coach? Maybe I should send him to sleep away camp? Rent him The Big Sleep? Dress him in sleepers in hopes he would get the idea? Anything…
I don’t know what Kitty is going to do once Nephdog comes at the end of the month. He’s going to be staying with us for two weeks this time and Kitty is going to be unhappy. Having the other dog in the house really curtails his nightly tours. I think I’m going to move back upstairs while Nephdog is visiting because I think he’s the type to listen for people sounds and whine about it and my room is just down the hall from the room the office slash dog room. I would put the dogs upstairs and that was my original plan, but I just got that space all tided up and I don’t want to have it end up all doggy – that and if I’m the one staying up there I don’t have to run the window unit all day and all night.
I love my cat. I love Kitty so much that when he woke me up at 3am this morning I didn’t kill him! It didn’t even cross my mind until he woke me up again at 5:15 and 5:45! At that point I was thinking about what I need glove wise for the winter and how many I could make out of him - at 3 am, I’m not up to that much thought, what I was really thinking was “Feed Cat Now”, I didn’t get into much more detail until a quarter to six or so and then I was more awake and better able to tackle things like patterns and sizes and styles.
I got up at 3 to feed him because I didn’t want him to wake the Dogger up as well. Dogger has much bigger lungs and a larger library of available noises to make. Kitty doesn’t make a lot of noise himself but he can play the house like a piano, his big finish is to tip over the knife rack in the kitchen while he causes the salt and pepper shakers to tumble over and then he makes his move on the dishwashing detergent and my purse. Those together make a lovely crashing sound. I know he’s really annoyed with me since I straighten up the kitchen and took away some of his instruments he had been using to let me know he needed attention. I got rid of an old phone book he needed for slamming off the counter and I put away my George Foreman™ so he can’t make it make plastic sounds.
I know he’s pissed that I got rid of a lot of old magazines in the living room. He really enjoyed letting those slid to the floor and then shredding them. He must be upset about it but he hasn’t said anything about it to me but I think he’s still recovering for his 24 hour flu experience. I’m sure he’ll leave me a meowmo about it soon enough.
Because Kitty hasn’t slept well this week, neither have I. I would really like to go to sleep and stay that way but Kitty thinks we, as a household need to spend more time together and he’s made it his mission to bring us all together as much as he can whenever he can – anyway he can. I’ve read where cats sleep like 18-20 hours a day, so far I have not seen any conclusive evidents of this with Kitty. Kitty doesn’t sleep. Maybe this is what is wrong with Kitty! Maybe he just needs a good sleep aid! Maybe because he was separated from his mother cat too soon and he doesn’t know he’s supposed to sleep all the time? Maybe he needs a sleep coach? Maybe I should send him to sleep away camp? Rent him The Big Sleep? Dress him in sleepers in hopes he would get the idea? Anything…
Wednesday, June 1, 2005
Tired now
I did too much. I drove all the way home, mowed the lawn, did all the laundry, made dinner and took a shower. I should have just sat down and watched TV until I dozed off. But no, I had to get everything done. Note that “done” does not include the phrase “Return lawn mower to shed”. I did return the lawn mower to the shed but it wasn’t until almost eleven o’clock at night and there are things that I can do in the dark and one of them isn’t “get mower in shed”, it can be done, but it isn’t easy and it wasn’t fun and I was in my night gown. So it wasn’t pretty either. My next project is going to be emptying the shed and only returning to the shed the items I put there in the first place. I do not think that the past owners are going to get their feelings hurt if I make some tough housing decisions regarding their old folding chair and ancient paint cans and those items future as habitants of the shed, those decisions made, I’m going to poison the shed like I’m the Pentagon and its Cambodia.
At lunch I took a Cosmo quiz from a months old Cosmopolitan. It turns out much to my shock, I am Fun To Be Around . It’s good to know. I did have to fudge a bit on the questions, as I don’t have a lot of experience being asked to run off to Costa Rica to go cliff diving - so I kind of had to fake my way through the quiz. It turns out even though I would first have to some “online research about cliff diving”, I am still “fun to be around”. I’m not sure what online research I would do regarding cliff diving, it seems kind of self explanatory – Find a cliff and dive off it. Maybe I could research what kind of bathing suit style is the best for cliff diving? Or whether or not I should remove my piercings? Find out if my birth control will stay in place on the way down? I guess a true Fun Cosmo Girl would query “Should I feel him up on the way down?” answer : Whatever you are comfortable with! “Once in the water is a celebratory quickie the way to go or should we wait?” .
What am I talking about? Cosmo girls don’t wait, A Cosmo girl would mount her boyfriend as they plunged over the cliff and bang them on the way as they were hurtling towards the water! I don’t know what else Cosmo girls research online; according to the magazine they have they think about sex about as often as 14 year old boys think about sex but as Cosmo girls they have access to really good sex . Plus they all have really cool, sexy, fulfilling jobs and they have lots of hot sex with their hotty boss – and those who don’t have cool, sexy and fulfilling jobs and are tragically not humping their unhot boss have no problem telling their uncool, unfulfilling, unhotty bosses to take their uncool, unsexy, unfulfilling jobs and stuff them because they are just too Cosmo to stay there any more.
And the even bigger question, what the hell was Avril Leguin ( I totally do not care enough about her to bother looking up how to spell her name correctly. Ska8r Boi would understand) doing on the cover of Cosmo? Wasn’t she like way, way, way too “punk rock” for this kind of mag? And when did she become a blond? How unpunk unrock of her.
New Feature alert! in honor of summer being all offically started and everything, I will now keep track of the gas prices the gas pirates are charging at my corner. Last Friday they were $1.97, by tuesday afternoon they were at $1.99.
I did too much. I drove all the way home, mowed the lawn, did all the laundry, made dinner and took a shower. I should have just sat down and watched TV until I dozed off. But no, I had to get everything done. Note that “done” does not include the phrase “Return lawn mower to shed”. I did return the lawn mower to the shed but it wasn’t until almost eleven o’clock at night and there are things that I can do in the dark and one of them isn’t “get mower in shed”, it can be done, but it isn’t easy and it wasn’t fun and I was in my night gown. So it wasn’t pretty either. My next project is going to be emptying the shed and only returning to the shed the items I put there in the first place. I do not think that the past owners are going to get their feelings hurt if I make some tough housing decisions regarding their old folding chair and ancient paint cans and those items future as habitants of the shed, those decisions made, I’m going to poison the shed like I’m the Pentagon and its Cambodia.
At lunch I took a Cosmo quiz from a months old Cosmopolitan. It turns out much to my shock, I am Fun To Be Around . It’s good to know. I did have to fudge a bit on the questions, as I don’t have a lot of experience being asked to run off to Costa Rica to go cliff diving - so I kind of had to fake my way through the quiz. It turns out even though I would first have to some “online research about cliff diving”, I am still “fun to be around”. I’m not sure what online research I would do regarding cliff diving, it seems kind of self explanatory – Find a cliff and dive off it. Maybe I could research what kind of bathing suit style is the best for cliff diving? Or whether or not I should remove my piercings? Find out if my birth control will stay in place on the way down? I guess a true Fun Cosmo Girl would query “Should I feel him up on the way down?” answer : Whatever you are comfortable with! “Once in the water is a celebratory quickie the way to go or should we wait?” .
What am I talking about? Cosmo girls don’t wait, A Cosmo girl would mount her boyfriend as they plunged over the cliff and bang them on the way as they were hurtling towards the water! I don’t know what else Cosmo girls research online; according to the magazine they have they think about sex about as often as 14 year old boys think about sex but as Cosmo girls they have access to really good sex . Plus they all have really cool, sexy, fulfilling jobs and they have lots of hot sex with their hotty boss – and those who don’t have cool, sexy and fulfilling jobs and are tragically not humping their unhot boss have no problem telling their uncool, unfulfilling, unhotty bosses to take their uncool, unsexy, unfulfilling jobs and stuff them because they are just too Cosmo to stay there any more.
And the even bigger question, what the hell was Avril Leguin ( I totally do not care enough about her to bother looking up how to spell her name correctly. Ska8r Boi would understand) doing on the cover of Cosmo? Wasn’t she like way, way, way too “punk rock” for this kind of mag? And when did she become a blond? How unpunk unrock of her.
New Feature alert! in honor of summer being all offically started and everything, I will now keep track of the gas prices the gas pirates are charging at my corner. Last Friday they were $1.97, by tuesday afternoon they were at $1.99.
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