Grr Arrgh
Things That Annoy Me. (Work Related).

You told me it wasn't in your office and it must be in mine. So I looked. Through. Every. Piece .Of. Paper. I. Own. Thousands of sheets of paper. And Did not Find it. Panic ensued. Only to find out you found it in YOUR OFFICE forty-five minutes ago and didn't tell me and wasn't going to. You "forgot" and I had work related stroke number 143.

Addendum - I am not Santa and this is not Christmas. Just because you want a stapler does not mean you can have mine. This goes for sticky notes and binder clips as well. And in this vein, if I am in your office and happen to be using something of yours, standing at my elbow and whimpering that you want your thing back does not facilitate the thing getting back to you. It makes me want to steal it. And I will.



I'm sorry your child is contagious and can't go to daycare. I am not a babysitter or your nanny. Please do not leave your child in my office, I have work to do. Corporate Day Care is not something we offer and I am not a childcare provider. Thank you in advance for your Childs contagion.

Addendum - Yes, I have toys in my office. No, I do not have children. The toys are mine. Sue me. It does not mean my office is the official toy chest. If you want a toy go and get one, Happy Meals and their ilk run about $2.25.




Please feel free to call me and request whatever you need I don't have anything better then to look things up for you. I get paid to do your work and mine. Check my job description, I have it posted on my door.

Addendum - Did you see Office Space? I live this movie. I can't keep track of everyone who actually can tell me what to do. I can however keep track of who cannot.

Send all calls my way. I am omnipotent. And psychic. And have nothing else to do.

Addendum - You can't help them? Okay. I can't either. Don't send the all ready-thwarted caller to me. I know less and am less qualified then you are. Of course I am the right person to deal with this. Bonus points if the caller is all ready in tears.

I know how hard it is to walk the 30 yards to my office. Sure, I can bring it to you. I don't have anything else to do.

Addendum - Catching me in the hall and verbally giving me a request isn't good enough. If you can walk out to a smoke break, you can walk to my office. Don't cough on me, either.


You don't want to dig through that whole bin, why not just bring it to my office. You shouldn't have to kneel on the hard floor and look for the packet.

Addendum - While the desire to clean out your office is laudable, it does not give you license to junk up mine. Getting it off your desk does not mean "put it on mine", and if you can't identity what "that" is, why should I. I'm a file clerk not a CSI.

The rules apply to everyone. You are everyone. The rules apply to you.

Addendum - I didn't write them. They were here when I got here. When there are no rules, there is chaos, in chaos things get lost, if things get lost you can't have them and that would be bad.

You got a promotion. The rules apply to you too.

Addendum - You remember those things you used to do? You still do them.

If you needed it for tomorrow, you cannot demand it today. Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part.

Addendum - I may sound all concerned and sympathetic? I'm not.

If I moved heaven and hell to get whatever it was for you, please don't just hand it back to me and tell me you didn't need it anyway. Lie To Me.

Addendum - You needed this now. You were frantic. I was all concerned and sympatric? But wasn't? I still did it. Lie to me about it now.


Also, stop drilling under my office and jack hammering under my window. Thanks. The Chiller works, I'm freezing. Go home now