Operation Lassie

It is time for young Daisy Dog to learn the ropes. I have two How To Make Your Dog Act Right books. Neither of them can make her act right now.

She walks on a leash very well. A real leash champ. She will sit on command and she doesn’t pull – she wears a pinch collar so the pulling is not really optimal for her. The few times she was pinch collar free she tried her best to pull my arm out of socket, and that was when she was a little puppy, um, a smaller puppy. Daisy was never a little anything. She was a big zygote.

So I finally pulled out the books. I’ve had them since I got dogger and I should have been reading these all along. But I was too busy taking her out to pee. The only training focus was toilet training. This has been reasonably successful. She has mistakes. Occasionally. We are working on it.

When I finally read one of the books it said that some dogs take longer then others. It does not stipulate what longer is. It doesn’t have a timetable for potty training.

At first with Daisy we really hit the potty training hard. We went outside every half hour. We stayed outside until she did something. Anything. No go-y, no housey.

We did a lot of running out the door


Me – Daisy! Lets go outside, gogogogo!

Daisy – Outside? Outside!outside!outside! peee!

Me – Damn it! No peeing on the floor! Outside.
Daisy – Outside! Goody! So excited!

Me - Okay, pee now. Wee-wee.

Daisy – Outside! Sniffing, snuffing, ooooooh plastic! Plastic!plastic!

Me – No! Not a toy! Nonono! Damn it! Where did you get that?

Daisy – It’s a toy! It tastes like a toy! Toytoytoy!

Me - Pee! Go wee-wee. Please! Play with your ball.

Daisy – Ball? Ball! Snuffsnuffsnuff.

Me – Pee! Go wee-wee!

Daisy – Wee-Wee? What is this wee-wee? Play now!

Me - Damn it! The commercials over. Go Pee!

Daisy – peeeee!

Me – finally. Inside! Inside!


Every half hour for months.

Now I read that I should make her do something before she goes outside. And I’m supposed to go first. I am the larger dog. I go first.

So now before we do anything, Daisy does something. She must sit. She is good at this.

Daisy is good at everything on her leash. Put the leash on and she’s Lassie . Sans leash? Worlds Dumbest Dog. Today we braved the rain; because if I waited for it to not be raining I would never leave the house.

So we head out in the rain.

We head towards the Big Field. I have her on a much longer lead then usual so that we can work on Stay. This will be easy. She’s really into learning. She's smart. She’s going to do this easy. She’ll be all over sitting, staying, rolling over. Hell, by this time next week she’ll be bringing me my slipper and fetching the newspaper.

Still raining.

Me – Daisy firm voice, eye contact Stay.

Daisy – Follow you! To where it is not raining?

Me – NO! Stay! Stay.

Daisy – Stay? Means what? It’s raining. I want to go where it is dry. We can’t do this at home because? Is it too dry in the living room?

Me - Okay. sit. Good Girl! Have a cookie.

Daisy – Sitting. Cookie! wet cookie.

Me - Good Girl. Stay! No. Staaaaaayyyyyy.

Daisy – The ground is wet. My butt is wet. My fur is wet. I Am Wet. How much longer are you going to make me stay out here in the wet?

Me - Okay! Good Girl! Have a cookie!

Lather rinse repeat.

It rained the whole time.

She can now stay until I am 26 inches away. It’s the first day.