Anatomy of a Monitor


The prognosis was not good. General malaise, fatigue, no energy and it wasn’t interested in its old favorite things – gently buzzing, flickering, and eating shortcuts.

It was the move that did it in. Not the cross-country trip in the back of a moving van, but the two-foot drag across the carpet on the desk. It tried to rally; I attempted to shake some sense in to it. I even took it to a homeopathic monitor healer. I took it to my brothers’ home and he said it was pathetic.

At first I blamed it on its video card. I thought, perhaps it was something reversible, something minor. Something cheap.

I am going to have to start a relationship with a new monitor. I went though the stages of grief

Denial– Damn. It must be the video card. Maybe it’s just the cord. This happened before and it fixed itself.

Anger – Damn. This sucks. I cannot afford this right now. Work Damn it! Why won’t you stay on! You are plugged in! Don’t give me this shit! Damn It! You are plugged in! Work! ARRRGGGGHHH! Work!

Bargaining – If you work I will stop screeching. I promise to stop going to stupid sites, I won’t waste your time with bad fanfic. I’ll watch more TV and let you rest. I’ll clean the cat and dog hair and dust out more often, I’ll get a plastic cover! Pleeezzeee work!

Depression – I can’t afford this. I’m going to have to spend a fortune to get this fixed and I have no money I can’t buy a new one, they cost a fortune. I should just get rid of my ISP. Why bother. Deep Sigh. Whimper.

Acceptance – Wow. Dell has cheap monitors. I’ve seen them at Goodwill, and I bet people pawn them. I get paid this week. I will get a new monitor. It will be all right.



Old Monitor was my first roommate. We moved into my first apartment together, we wrote letters to boyfriends together, we started my first lame web site together, we obsessed over cult TV shows together. Sigh.

Oh, Old Monitor. Why have you forsaken me?

What am I going to do? How am I going to obsessively check my email?

How am I going to get your big giant bulk back to my house?

SWF seeks Discount Flat Screen for LTR

Me, active computer user, online since 1995, daily computer user. My future monitor will only have really attractive wallpapers and coordinated color schemes, I practice safe screen saving. I’m looking for a hard working, politically active, sensitive, emplo- (whoops! Wrong ad) I’m looking for a hard working, easy to get a long with, quite, flat screen with nominal needs and a family history of very long life span.

Long story short, my monitor is dead I don’t have any extras sitting around so I will be with out a monitor until Thursday.


Edited to add, Look!!! Archives!!! They came back! I finally found the right place to ask for help, not from Blogger but from end users. So if I can't get to a computer, you can read the archives.